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But I allowed myself to do it for a little while as everyone ate and joked. Allowed myself to get lost in the lightness and the love that so clearly stretched between these people who looked so hard and rough.
Once everyone finished their food, the guys got up to help Kane with something at his booth, and Raven took Nolan to the restroom, and I found myself alone at the table.
It didn’t bother me.
I couldn’t remember a time when I’d felt so relaxed, and I closed my eyes and lifted my face to the heavens.
My spirit squeezed in a bid of gratitude.
For almost an entire evening, I hadn’t felt alone. Hadn’t ached.
“That was fuckin’ sweet of you, buying that stuffed animal formy kid.” The gruff voice broke me out of the drifting, and my eyes snapped open to find River standing on the opposite side of the table with his hands stuffed in his jeans pockets.
Moonlit.
His face cast in bare, silvery light.
“Well, I came into a little extra money recently.”
My lips tweaked at the side, and my stomach nearly toppled over when a smirk lit on his.
“That so?”
“Mm-hmm,” I hummed, not even sure what I was doing talking to him like this. He’d basically ignored me the entire evening, all except for the piercing stares he’d tossed my way.
“Don’t want your money,” he told me.
A frown furrowed my brow. “And what is it you want?”
I wasn’t even sure what I was asking him or why it felt imperative to know.
To understand this confusion.
This…thing that was so unfamiliar to me that I couldn’t process it.
His tongue swept his full bottom lip, focus firmly on me. “Told you…for you to do exactly what that tat said and live.”
Nonsensical laughter rolled out of me. It was so quiet I wondered if he’d heard it. “I don’t even know what that means anymore.”
“Most of the time, I wonder if any of us do.” His words were gruff.
Hollow.
Like he might be haunted, too.
“Until I see Nolan smile. Then I get it.”
I could barely manage the nod. “He’s amazing.”
“Kid stole my heart right outta my chest.”
I was sure the child had stolen a piece of mine, too, the way it fluttered when he was suddenly bounding up to my side. “Miss Charleigh, we’re going to go dance now because dancin’ is what sets you free.”
A surprised giggle rippled out of me as I turned that way, andRaven was hiding a laugh since I was pretty sure he’d taken the words directly from her mouth.
He grabbed my hand. “Come on!”
“Oh, I think I’d better call it a night and get home.”
