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I led us into the darkness, and I trudged through the small living room and directly into the bedroom. I dumped my bag on the floor and flopped facedown onto my bed.
Raven only cast me a searching look as she passed by, and a light flicked on in the other part of the house before she started rambling around in the kitchen. Dishes clanked and the microwave ran, and a few minutes later she was shuffling in carrying two cups of tea.
“Here.”
“I don’t think I want anything.”
“Come on, get up, Char-Bug. It’ll make you feel better.”
I peeked at her through one eye. “Char-Bug? I see how you really feel about me.”
How I managed the tease, I didn’t know, but Raven laughed and climbed onto the mattress on both knees while somehow managing to balance the mugs. “What are you talking about? Haven’t you ever heard the phrase cute as a bug in a rug? That’s what you are.”
My brow that was smooshed against the mattress lifted.
“Well, except that rug was actually you all tucked under a blanket,holding onto my nephew while you were snuggled up against my brother during the movie.” It was her turn for her brow to lift, except it was both of them and they were filled with speculation. “And here you claimed it wasn’t like that between you two.”
She sang it like an uplifting accusation. Half the time, I didn’t know what to make of her.
“Now up you go.”
Groaning, I rolled over and sat up against my headboard. She passed me a cup.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Best bestie ever, remember?”
“Don’t worry, I won’t forget,” I told her, taking a sip of the hot spearmint tea.
She sat in the middle of the bed, facing me, her legs crisscrossed, and for a few moments, we sipped at our tea before she hedged, “So what happened tonight? The three of you were all cozy and snuggled up downstairs, and then you were getting loved up, and then a few minutes later, you were running out the door.”
The sip of tea I was taking spewed from my mouth, and I choked a surprised, “What?”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, if you think I didn’t hear what was coming from River’s room…”
“Oh God.” Mortification flamed on my face, and I tried to cover it with one hand.
Raven reached out and pried it away. “Don’t be embarrassed. I only heard him shouting your name, but I think there’s a chance the entire town heard it.”
I died a slow death of humiliation. “Like that’s supposed to make it better?”
A second later, she’d sobered, and her voice twisted in concern. “But then you left.”
I breathed out a heavy sigh. “I just…” I contemplated for a moment before I whispered, “It all got to be too much.”
“Why?” I swore, she always asked the most basic questions that never failed to shear through my defenses.
“Have you seen your brother?” I asked.
“He is kind of a brute.” She shrugged.
I bit down on my bottom lip like it might keep me from letting her in, but she just kept watching me with that open expression on her face. With that kindness. I exhaled, then gave her some of my truth. “He saw some of the scars I have from when I was in that bad relationship I told you about.”
Bad relationship.
There’d never been a greater understatement.
I felt so exposed right then, even though there was so much that remained hidden. This grief so big that there were some days it seemed impossible to put one foot in front of the other. Impossible to get out of bed. Impossible to keep moving.
