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"And if you're going to stick it in her ass, she should be able to stick it in yours."
He does the last thing I expect. He laughs.
"Is it that funny?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
He shoots me that samereallylook Cassie has. "Ask yourself that question."
"Do you… is that something you're into?"
"Not in particular," he says. "But I honor requests."
"And your ex. Was she into that?"
"Into what?" He challenges me to say the words out loud.
Right. I'm a sex researcher. And I started this conversation. "Into anal sex?"
"She was," he says. "She liked the taboo of it. She was like you."
Is that my sexual aura? Is there some combination of body language, tone of voice, and dress that saysyes, please stick it in my ass?
He laughs at my awkwardness. "A fan of Dr. Freud."
Huh?
"A shrink. But not one who saw patients. Not normal patients. She was an expert witness."
"Isn't that a job for older people?" I ask.
"Usually," he says. "She was a little older than I am."
"Do you like older women?" I ask.
"I like their confidence," he says. "I like a woman who knows what she wants."
Do not say anal sex. Do not say anal sex. Stop thinking about—I'm not even saying it in my head. I bite my tongue and swallow the ridiculous thoughts that try to find my lips. I am not flirting with him. No way. No how. "Why was it better after you broke up? In your best estimation?"
He doesn't call me on the change of topic. "She was holding back, before. We both were."
"What changed?"
"We stopped assuming we'd get married." He says it with a sort of finality. As if he's not willing to elaborate or explain.
I try to fill in the blanks. A Madonna whore complex, maybe. Common with men. Where they can only see a woman as pure and virginal (a proper wife) or dirty and sexy (a whore).
But he said it was her too. So, did she see him that way or herself?
A man is either a husband who enjoys missionary with the lights off or a freak who wants to tie you up and stick it in your ass.
Fuck.
And I was doing so well.
I'm not even interested in anal sex! What the fuck is wrong with me?
