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She waits until we're out there alone. She waits until I ask the only question I can ask.
"When were you going to tell me?"
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Jackson
Daphne's eyes fill with something I can't place. Something betweenI'm so sorryandI don't owe you anything.
She holds my gaze for a long moment, then she looks to the ground. She finds whatever it is she needs to say in the off-white concrete.
Slowly, her eyes meet mine. "I wasn't going to tell you."
The anger racing through me dissipates. An honest confession is the last thing I know how to hear.
I can fight back, I can run, I can argue, I can overpower her logic with mine.
I can't change the facts.
"I know it feels like I should have told you." Her voice stays sure and strong. "I feel that too. All week—hell, since I got into my mom's car, I've wanted to get this off my chest." She struggles through a deep breath. "Do you have any idea how scared I am to leave my brother alone? To leave my best friend? My family?"
The vulnerability in her voice cuts through every one of my defenses.
I don't want to hold strong against her. I don't want to hold this against her. I want to hold her close. I want to tell her it will be okay.
There's another impulse in my gut. An urge to push her far, far away. Until she's too far to touch. Until I can't see the hurt in her eyes or smell her shampoo or feel her skin.
Until she fits into a box with all my ex-girlfriends.
But Daphne will never fit with them. Because I love her in a way I've never loved them.
I love her in a way I've never loved anyone.
"I told you three weeks," she says. "We agreed to that. Three weeks and then we go our own ways. Live our own lives."
"You didn't tell me what that meant."
"I didn't owe you that." She holds strong, even as her voice softens. "I am sorry, Jackson. I didn't think I'd feel this way. But I… I can't do it."
"What?" My voice drops to a tone I don't recognize. There's no control. Only a desperate need for her.
"I can't give you two more weeks." She reaches for my hands.
Her fingers brush mine. Her hand curls around my wrist, but it doesn't stay there. She doesn't try to pull me closer.
"The truth is, I knew I was going to New York in January. I've known for a long time and I haven't told anyone. Not even my parents." She pushes an exhale through her teeth. "Mom found out, of course. She has a friend at the hospital. Then Dad found out. He has friends too. They know too many people."
That happens with my parents too. They're always one step ahead of me.
Do they know about this?
Have they kept this from me?
"I know I should have said something sooner. To Cass. To Damon. To you. I should have said I can't stay married because I'm moving to New York City. But I couldn't."
She takes a deep breath and lets out a slow, heavy exhale.
Her voice stays steady. "You see me as this strong, defiant woman. And I am that. Sometimes. Other times, I get lost in what people expect of me. My whole life, I was the good daughter, the smart student, the one with promise. I had to live up to that. It was hard. It weighed on me. It still does. That's why I live alone. That's why I didn't keep boyfriends. I can't take the pressure of other people's need for me."
