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“Or you eat the whole thing?” I ask, stepping into the studio.
He follows me. “I’m kind of with Darla on this one. You need to eat.” His gaze falls to my stomach. “You need nourishment, and so does…” He lets his words die on his lips, thank goodness. I’m paranoid about all the ears around here.
“Can I ask you about Wren’s mom?”
“You can ask me anything, but it doesn’t mean I’ll tell you.”
I raise my eyebrows. “That’s such a dad thing to say.”
He chuckles, taking the sandwich from my hands. He takes half and hands me the other half in the wrapper. “She died.”
My stomach lurches. “That’s horrible.”
He bites his sandwich and eyes mine, so I take a bite. Jensen really is a brilliant chef, and I wonder if he’s self-taught or went to school.
“Died during childbirth. Wren never even met her.”
I can hear the sorrow in his voice. My stomach twists even further, given my own situation. “That’s so horrible. I feel terrible for both of them.”
He nods, finishing the last bite of his half of the sandwich. “Wren’s just now getting to the age when you start to realize your family is different. I still remember when moms would volunteer at school or for sports. Since my mom never came, my friend asked me when my mom was coming. Dad told me to tell him my mom was in heaven. He asked when she was getting back, like it was a vacation. And I said I didn’t know. Death and kids aren’t an easy mix.”
“So, you don’t remember anything about your mom?” I don’t remember mine, and I was older than when Emmett lost his mom. The only mother figure I’ve ever known is Gillian.
“Sometimes I think I do, but then the same stories about her are told all the time, so am I just remembering that?” He shrugs. “I don’t know, but I don’t think so.”
“My mom left after Koa was born. The difference when someone leaves instead of dies is that no one talks about them at all. It’s like they never even existed. I have no memories of her or very many pictures.” I take another bite of the sandwich. “But why would I want to know anything about someone who didn’t want me anyway?”
He comes over and leans in next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. “Bet you didn’t realize how much we had in common. Now finish that sandwich so I can hug you.”
“Hug me?” I put the last piece in my mouth.
“Don’t act like you don’t need one. We just divulged to each other the shit that messed us up. We bonded.” He tugs me into his side, but when I don’t move, he steps in front of me and, using his finger, forces my chin up to make me look at him.
“I wouldn’t say bonded.” My excuse is weak, but I do feel as if someone understands a little bit of what it feels like to grow up without a mother. Your mom is supposed to love and nurture you. Give you hugs and kiss your boo-boos. Gillian did her best, but she was a kid herself for the majority of my upbringing.
“Bring it in.” His hands run down my arms, and I step into him. At first, I don’t wrap my arms around him, but he tightens his arms around me. “Life sucks, but the good thing is that you get to change this baby’s path. And you get to feel what it’s like to be a mother. And you’ll be a great one.”
“How can you say that? I didn’t have a role model.” Finally, I wrap my arms around his waist.
His chest vibrates against mine. “Because you’ll be hell-bent on giving your kid everything you didn’t get. And I know this kid is going to have love in spades.”
I rest my chin on his chest, allowing the wall I put up to crumble. And it feels good to let someone else hold me up, even if it is just for a little bit.
Chapter Seventeen
Emmett
Since I’m still barely talking to Jude, I decide to go home for lunch.
As I enter, Briar is coming down the stairs. She’s wearing a white dress that lands right above her knee, showcasing her amazing, toned legs. She’s almost always in yoga pants, so rarely do I get to see her legs. They’re lean and strong and could probably support her without my help if she were wrapped around my waist as I drilled into her.
“You’re not usually home this early,” she says, putting an earring in one ear.
“Lunch.”
“There’s that chicken casserole I made that you could heat up.”
“Thanks, wifey.” I open the fridge to cool myself down after looking at her.
