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The bar had begun to fill up. Guys and gals were mingling on the dance floor, and the band had stepped up to the mic.
“I’d like to thank you all for coming out tonight!” the lead singer shouted. They opened their first song with a cover of “I Walk the Line” by Johnny Cash.
“They’re going classic,” I said to Gina, shouting to be heard over the music.
“Get out there and dance!” She pushed me forward.
I jumped into the middle of the dance floor and began rocking out with anyone I could find. A young cowboy with a white shirt and a Stetson hat took up the challenge. He was there with some of his buddies, who cheered him on. In the heat of the moment, I lost track of my determination not to get involved with anyone new.
He put an arm around my waist and held me close, pressing his pelvis to mine. It felt good to have another body so close, as if I could erase Linc’s touch just by touching another. We danced for three songs before I called it quits. Pushing my way off the dance floor, the cowboy followed.
“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked.
“Sure,” I agreed.
We sat at the bar talking for a while. He was still in school, studying for a business degree. I almost offered to set up a meeting with Mr. Matthews. The boss was always looking for smart young people with degrees. But I didn’t want to bring another booty call into the office, so I kept my mouth shut.
“Are you in school?” he asked.
“I work,” I answered.
“Where do you work?”
“The lumberyard.”
“Oh yeah?” He seemed impressed, as if he hadn’t expected it.
“Where did you think I worked?”
“I dunno.” He smiled, and all of his college charm came out. “Waitress. Hairstylist. Maybe dental assistant.”
“Secretary,” I answered over top of my beer mug.
“I might be looking for a secretary before too long.” He raised his eyebrows, insinuating the worst.
“I’m not that kind of secretary,” I told him.
Gina rescued me, coming off the dance floor and bumping into me, breathless and excited. “Can I talk to you?”
“Yes.” I set down my empty mug and followed Gina to the far end of the room.
“I have to go. Do you want to come with me?”
I looked back at the cowboy. He was watching us, hoping that this wasn’t the end. He was cute, but he was way too young. And Jacob, the guitarist, had offered me a beer when they were done playing, but that was easily another thirty minutes to an hour from now. If I didn’t stop, I would probably end up going home with one of them, and that was something I didn’t want to do.
My half-sober mind took control and directed me back to my car. We swung out the door without saying goodbye to any of those guys. I didn’t want to think about Linc, but as soon as the eyes of other men were off me, the pain came back. I couldn’t stop a little sob from escaping as I stood by my car, trying to fit the key into the lock.
Gina saw me and came around her cherry-red Kia. “Hey. Do you want to sleep on our couch?”
I wiped my eyes. “No.” While it would be nice not to be alone, I didn’t want to impose. That, and I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to sleep. It would be better to go home where everything was familiar, and I could make as much noise as I wanted to.
I realized my mistake as soon as I walked in the door. The sink stared back at me with accusing eyes, and the bed promised nothing but painful memories. I put some comfy pajamas on and closed the bedroom door. Throwing a towel over the sink, I grabbed a tub of ice cream from the freezer and sat down on my couch.
It was going to be a long night.
23
LINCOLN
