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He salutes me. ‘Fucking shit, isn’t it? I’m going to tell Wiseman he’s a relic and that he can spin on it.’
Jasper goes over and shakes his hand.
There’s a tumult of action as people begin to enter the room, and I see Leo, Frank and Jasper, who has the catering trays in hand, gesturing that they’re going downstairs. I signal that I’ll see them there but watch as their figures disappear down the corridor, Leo glancing back at me for a moment, looking at a complete loss for what to do or say. I collect my belongings slowly, putting my coat across my arm, looking around this fancy office I dreamed about when I first came here. I got so much more than that downstairs in our basement.
I’m ushered out of the room but as I head to the lifts, I notice Stephen still sitting outside on an angular leather sofa, clutching his box of belongings, a small potted Christmas tree and multipacks of biros. He still looks completely shell-shocked.
‘Stephen?’ I ask him, sitting down next to him.
He looks at me for a moment. ‘You’re that nice girl in IT, aren’t you? Meg?’
‘Maggie.’
He notices some papers in my hands. ‘Oh love, not you too?’
I nod. He lets out a deep sigh.
‘I need to tell my wife,’ he tells me, taking her picture out of the box to show me a photo of them dressed to the nines for a wedding.
‘Or not. It can wait,’ I tell him. ‘What’s her name?’
‘Mary. That was our eldest’s wedding. Doesn’t she look lovely?’
‘So do you. You make a very handsome couple.’
There’s silence as he sits there, obviously still registering what’s happened.
‘You could argue I should have retired a while back but I like working, keeping busy,’ he tells me, and I immediately feel for him that all that routine and purpose is suddenly gone.
‘Nothing wrong with that. Are you leaving now? You didn’t get two weeks’ notice?’
He nods. ‘I did but I’ve packed my things. I’m not sticking around for a fortnight. They can take it out of my pay if they want but I didn’t want the insult of looking at my supervisor knowing he chose me for this.’
‘Good for you,’ I tell him.
‘Funny how the woman he’s been shagging in the Premier Inn opposite the office for three years got to keep her job though,’ he shouts down the corridor. ‘She still uses her fingers for basic sums.’ He half laughs, half cries and I feel all of it so deeply.
‘Can I offer you a cookie, Stephen?’ I ask him, holding one out to him wrapped in a napkin.
He shakes his head. ‘I’ll be honest, I need more than a fucking cookie. It’s nearly 11am, let’s find a pub, Maggie from IT.’
I stand up immediately and grin. ‘Why not? Come on then, Stephen from Accounts. Let’s go get pissed.’
THIRTY-FIVE
6th January
‘And for anyone doing dry January or thinking of taking on a weight loss regime, then it’s really important that you think about your protein intake. And I’m going to tell you a secret. Cottage cheese, that is the answer…’
I’m not sure why but I throw something at my television, regretting it immediately as I will soon be out of work and won’t be able to replace it if I break it. It’s lucky that I have a weak throw. When is cottage cheese ever the answer? Never. I sit here in my pyjamas, wondering what to do next. I didn’t go into work today. I’ve just wallowed in front of the television watching the sky fade to black. I went in on Friday to be part of that meeting and break the news, and since then there’s been a sort of numb ache that’s come over me, to know that the end of an era is approaching. To be fair, that ache is probably not as bad as Stephen’s who I went to the pub with that lunchtime. Turns out the man can drink like a fish, but he’s also very good at gardening and has promised me that, when the dust has settled, he’ll tell me how to grow my own herbs.
‘And eggs, you cannot eat too many eggs,’ the television echoes in the background. Having shared downstairs space with three men and zero ventilation for the best part of four years, I would disagree with this statement. The thought of that makes my heart prickle though. I’ve had little contact with all three of them over the weekend. After the pub with Stephen, I spent the rest of the day in HR and avoided going back to the basement, possibly so I could avoid the confrontation. Since then, Jasper has rung me to tell me off and Frank sent me a very large bouquet of flowers, which was sweet of him though they unfortunately looked a bit funeral-like, but Leo, he’s said nothing. Just radio silence. That’s probably what hit me in the chest the most, so I’ve spent most of my time deliberating my decision at home, looking at my finances, wondering what the future really holds for me now. I called in sick this morning. I may just wallow and hide away for these last two weeks so I don’t have to think about it all too much. It’s what my new best mate Stephen is doing. It feels like a good plan.
My lounging is suddenly interrupted by my intercom ringing and I head over to the door to answer it, a hope in my bones it could be someone I know.
‘IT’S US!’ yell a chorus of female voices and I recognise them instantly as Gemma and her girls. It’s certainly unexpected but I let them in and go to the main door of the building to help Gemma with all her kids, spying little Harry strapped to her chest.
‘Aunty Maggie!’ Bella shrieks, running into my arms.
