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‘Very very yummy,’ he tells her and she giggles to see the crumbs at the corner of his mouth, her face glowing with glee to know she’s provided breakfast to the overnight guests.
I beckon her over to sit in between us. ‘Are you the only one up?’
‘Yeah. Daddy got back really early and went to bed. Are you both coming to Granny and Grandad’s with us?’ she asks me sweetly, resting her head on my shoulder.
‘Oh no, Leo and I will probably head off. I need a shower actually. I smell,’ I tell her, nibbling at the mince pie in my hands.
She laughs. ‘No, you don’t.’
‘Then I am going to spend Christmas with Leo,’ I tell her. ‘He lives in the Lake District.’
A look of panic descends across her face. ‘Have you told Santa that? Will he know where to send your presents? It’s Christmas Eve tonight.’
I nod earnestly. ‘I wrote him a letter, it’s all good.’
She looks satisfied with that explanation andjumps up. ‘Do you like gingerbread? I can get gingerbread if you’re still hungry?’ she exclaims, scampering off to the kitchen.
I watch Leo’s face as he looks over and laughs at her excitement. His head then swings back to look at me. ‘Morning.’
‘Morning,’ I reply, smiling, my head propped up by my hand. I am not sure what to do now, what to suggest. Do I reach over to hug him, give him a kiss, share a bit of throw?
He leans over and wipes some mince pie crumbs from my cheek. ‘You don’t smell,’ he tells me.
‘Good to know,’ I laugh.
‘But just saying, if you wanted to have a shower…I think I may need one too,’ he says, looking me directly in the eye.
I can’t quite breathe. I think I know what he’s implying. He reaches over to lightly graze my palm and I nod at him, without even saying a word.
I don’t think I’ve had an Uber ride quite like it. After leaving Gemma and family a note to bid our farewells and festive wishes, Leo and I both sat there in the back of the Uber barely able to look at each other, his hand holding mine, the car filled with an anticipation so intense I could feel every sinew in me seize up, every part of me wanting to get closer to him. This was Leo. I’d sat opposite him for years, countless opportunities had presented themselves for this to happen but in just a few weeks, he’d revealed himself to me on so many different levels that had transformed how I felt completely. We told the driver to head to Leo’s as it was geographically closer. Frank and Ben would have already left for Christmas so we’d have the place to ourselves. All I could think about was lying on his bed again with his body next to me. I crossed my legs in that Uber to control myself. I focused on Wham! playing in the background, watching the streets of London fly past in the windows, houses and shops,flashes of red and green, all decorated and ready for the coming of Christmas.
And now we’re standing in the hallway of his house, the cold air of the night before sitting there, the same intense feeling that was sitting in that Uber, gluing us to the spot. We had crossed a line a few nights ago but this would most certainly be a point of no return.
Leo sighs to himself. ‘Just to put it out there, if it’s too soon or it will make the next few days too awkward then I also understand if…’
I shake my head, smiling. ‘I want to do this.’
‘So we’re on the same page? I mentioned the shower and then I realised that maybe you would have thought it was an offer to take a shower at mine on your own.’
‘If I wanted a shower on my own, I would have gone to my own home, no?’ I tell him.
‘This is true,’ he deliberates. ‘So you were thinking we would shower together? Not one at a time.’
‘That was the hope. Unless you…’ He shakes his head.
We stand there, still rooted to the spot. ‘You have fairy lights everywhere,’ I notice, seeing them along the bannisters, the doorframes, hanging off a mirror in this hallway.
‘They are LEDs,’ he informs me.
‘Efficient.’
‘Frank.’ He pauses then puts an arm up towards the stairs. ‘The shower is upstairs if you wanted to proceed.’
I nod, taking off my coat and leaving my bags in the hallway as I take the first steps.
‘Won’t you need your bag for when you want to get dressed afterwards?’ he asks me.
I shake my head. I don’t know where that sort of brazen sexual confidence has come from but even I can feel myself blushing as I turn to walk up the stairs, hearing Leo behind me. I am about to have sex with Leo. Leo from work, who I share aKitKat with because four fingers is sometimes too much. I have no idea why that idea came into my head but I try and suppress my giggles.
