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‘That’s exciting!’ I say, wondering why his tone is so flat. Frank finds very little joy in life and sometimes looks very confused by it all. His mother cuts his hair and he comes into work wearing the same black polo shirt and Adidas Gazelles every day. I hope he washes that shirt. If not, he has five of them, all the same.
‘You’ve not met my family. I’ve got a whole load of aunts coming in from Singapore. It will be mayhem. I may need to use official holiday time to get over it,’ he informs us, annoyance in his tone. ‘It will literally be days of aunts asking me why my younger sister is getting married before me and why I’m so skinny.’
‘That’s your natural body shape, no?’ Jasper asks him.
‘Exactly! But it’s an Asian thing. You’re either too skinny, too fat, too perpetually rubbish at life. I have one aunt who thinks my job is playing video games for a living.’
We all laugh. We do play a fair bit of video games to bide our time, but we also fix stuff and code and shit.
‘Are you taking anyone?’ I ask him.
Frank laughs, a little too loudly. ‘No. This is half the problem. The invite specified a plus-one but I am perpetually single. People will just stand there, point and laugh at me for going on my own.’
‘Could you take Jasper?’ I ask, knowing that they’re the very best of friends.
Jasper widens his eyes at me. ‘Because bringing his gayfriend to a wedding won’t cause the traditional aunties to lose their shit?’
‘I’m not gay, Maggie,’ Frank tells me.
‘I know that…’ I tell them, feeling the need to explain myself. ‘But a wedding plus-one can be platonic. I feel Jasper would be very good at fending off overbearing relatives.’
‘Then I’d like to come along too. I quite like the idea of seeing Jasper putting Frank’s aunties in their place,’ Leo says, chuckling.
‘More like I’d put them in headlocks,’ Jasper says.
Frank grimaces, imagining the extra drama that would entail. ‘Then would it be OK if I respectfully rebuff that idea, as much as I like you, Jasper.’
Jasper puts a hand to the air to let Frank know he also thinks it’s a terrible idea. Well, I tried.
‘Jasper, what are you doing for Christmas?’ I ask him, still trying to keep the conversation alive.
‘I’ll be going home to the family manor too. Few days there and then I’m going skiing,’ Jasper tells us.
‘Fancy schmancy,’ Leo mutters.
‘Not really,’ he says defensively. We always joke with Jasper as he has a double-barrelled surname and, well, he’s called Jasper, which is a name for posh boys and ginger cats. He usually swerves the posh jokes which does make me wonder. Jasper has a bushel of uncontrollable curly hair, lives in a range of loud Hawaiian style shirts and clashing socks. I see him as a skier. I bet he tells people off when they’re using the ski lifts incorrectly.
‘And you?’ Leo asks me.
I smile. ‘Oh, it’ll be a quiet one. I’m house-sitting for my parents. They’re on a Christmas cruise in the Norwegian fjords so it’ll be me and a box of mince pies. I’ve built a catalogue of Christmas films to get me through the season fromHome AlonetoBadSanta.’
They all sit there quietly for a moment looking at me. It was something that had transpired over the last fortnight – the prospect of my first ever Christmas alone – and although at times it felt a tad bleak, I’m not one to wallow. It’s just a day.
‘You’ll be on your own?’ Frank asks, confused, a real look of sadness on his face.
‘Well, it was either that or go with my parents on that cruise where the average age was likely to be sixty plus.’
‘You could find yourself a sugar daddy,’ Jasper jokes, laughing.
‘What? Have a Christmas fling with a Santa lookalike? I say. The mood lightens around the table. ‘All, this is my new boyfriend, Kris Kringle.’
‘He only comes once a year,’ Frank adds.
‘And you should see the size of his sack,’ says Leo.
We all cackle loudly, to the horror of a couple a few booths down who I suspect might be on a first date. But I will admit to liking that sound. We are a very mismatched bunch but we all share the same sense of humour, we are all in our twenties, single without family commitments, and have grown to be comfortable in each other’s company. We have this shared interested in all things tech and can argue for hours about whether we prefer Mac or Windows. As weird as it sounds, I think these three might be some of my best friends. I may not say that out loud though, because the admission would scare them.
‘That makes me a little sad,’ Leo admits as the laughter dies down.
