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I breathe a laugh and shake my head, flipping open my wallet so that I can slide out one of the two condoms that I shoved in there before we headed out this evening. She glances at the big black square and bites at her bottom lip.
“That was rhetorical,” I tell her as I chuck the foil packet onto the dashboard behind her and ease open the button on her jeans. “But the answer’s yes.”
She flushes with pleasure and arches back, letting me get a good look at her as I drag down the zipper on her jeans. I push the denim down off her hips and then press two fingers firmly against the warm cotton hiding her pussy.
“Are we gonna do it in here?” she asks me, watching my fingers rub at her with dilated pupils.
“We can do it wherever you want,” I murmur, slipping her gusset aside so that I can finally touch her soft heat. “Jesus, that’s beautiful,” I whisper, dropping my forehead to her shoulder as I rotate my fingers in gentle circles on her clit.
“Mitch, please,” she whimpers, her nails biting into the back of my neck and her hips grinding desperately against my hand. “I need you, right now.”
I pull back and nod, preparing to shove down my jeans, roll down the condom, and then get her pants off so that I can take her on my lap in the driver’s seat of my truck. But then her eyes flash down to my right, drawn to the light suddenly beaming up from the passenger seat.
I follow her gaze, staring down at my phone. Then my eyes go back up to hers, knowing what she’s seeing.
“What–” she begins, before reaching down and grabbing it, hastily swallowing as she scrolls through an endless page of messages, unopened and unread.
Her eyes shoot up to mine, confused and frowning.
I couldn’t care less about what’s on the screen of my phone right now. In fact, I could continue ignoring those messages for the next three weeks. What I want is for Harper to put the cell down, wrap her arms back around my shoulders, and then let me give it to her the way that no-one else ever will.
“It’s… it’s your birthday?” she asks, her brow dropping lower by the second. “It’s your birthday… today?”
I look at her for a long moment. I can already see that not telling her this information has put a big black cross next to my name.
I steel my jaw and give her a nod.
“Yeah,” I admit, because that’s the extent of it. But I can tell that to Harper, for whatever reason, this is a big deal.
She blinks rapid-fire at me, then looks back down at my phone as more messages silently come through. “It’s your… fortieth birthday. A significant birthday. And you didn’t think that you should tell me that.”
She stares at the screen for a few more seconds and then drops it down onto the seat beside us.
Honestly, right now nothing would make me happier than if she just shot-put the thing right out of the window.
I still have my hands on her waist as I try to think of how to describe my rationale behind this decision. She isn’t shoving me away from her so I don’t think that she hates me but it’s becoming crystal clear that this has some sort of deeper meaning to Harper than I’m currently understanding.
I didn’t tell her that it was my birthday because it’s not significant to me. I didn’t want it to alter her behaviour – which evidentially was a valid concern. I didn’t want her to feel the need to alter the dynamic, to please me for the sake of it being the day that I was born on. Today went exactly how I wanted it to without her even knowing it.
The only other thought that I had to contemplate was the fact that I’m forty now. With Harper not even being thirty yet that realisation may make her want to end this where it’s at. So I guess that I was being selfish, holding off on telling her so that I could spend just a little more time with her. But none of that was done with malicious intent.
I just want to keep things exactly as they are.
I move my fingers to redo her jeans and when I look at her face I can see that she’s embarrassed. Which is probably the worst emotion that she could be feeling right now.
I cup her face in my palm, ducking down a little so that I can catch her eyes.
“Hey, look at me, Harper,” I say quietly, guilt settling in my gut like a tonne of bricks. “I didn’t mean to upset you. Birthdays aren’t a big deal to me. I just wanted to spend the day finishing up the Pine Hills project and then having my evening with you, and that’s exactly what I did. It was perfect. Why’re you looking so upset?”
“Because what if I wanted to get you something? What if I wanted to make the day more special?”
I try to find the most diplomatic way to say that that’s exactly why Ididn’ttell her.
“You give me more than enough every day – the only thing that I want is you. I never want you spending cash on me, Harper. It’s my job to take care of you, not the other way around.”
She scrubs angrily at one of her eyes, and I narrow my gaze on her. If I catch sight of one single tear I’m going to be even more pissed that today’s my birthday than I was twenty seconds ago.
“It doesn’t make any sense,” she says, shaking her head like she’s got a whole argument going on in there. “Today’s about you and you actually… you tried to make it about me.” She looks up at me, bewildered. “You literally just told me that you wanted to buy me diamonds. Onyourbirthday. Like it’s some kind of treat foryou.”
