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Once his body leaves mine I suddenly feel edgy and cold. I’m biting my lip to hide my nerves, and I wonder if being here is a bad idea. I want to know why Madden was here, and Ineedto know why the hell he’s friends with Hudson. I have looked into Tate’s bedroom window from the day that he moved in, but now that I’m inside of it everything feels too good to be true. Surely happiness can’t be this simple to achieve.
“Are you ready?” he murmurs and I feel him set something sharp and cool into my hands. “Open your eyes.”
If my hands weren’t full I would have lifted them to my face in enchanted delight. I scrunch up my nose and my heart does a painful swell as I take in how unnecessarily thoughtful this was.
Saturate. We Are Not Alone. Dear Agony. Dark Before Dawn. Ember.
Every other studio album released by Breaking Benjamin.
I try to rub the flush from my cheeks onto my shoulder. “You must be pretty sick ofPhobiaby now, I guess,” I joke, eyes down. I instantly decide to give him myPhobiaalbum the next time we hang out together because this was so darn sweet. My irises have turned into little glowing love hearts, so I can’t risk looking up into his right now.
It’s no matter. Tate pulls me closer to his body and presses his forehead to mine.
I squeeze my eyes shut and I feel him take the CDs from my hands, tossing them onto his comforter. The water droplets that were running through his hair from the shower are now trickling down my cheeks.
“Never,” he whispers. I can hear the gorgeous smile in his voice. “That CD is the best thing that ever happened to me.” He presses himself closer. “Well,youare the best thing that ever happened to me.”
His hands are rubbing up my arms - cupping, gripping, squeezing – until his palms meet my collarbones, and then his fingers begin firmly caressing my cool skin. His thumbs slip underneath the top button of my shirt and he pushes his torso flush against mine.
“River,” he whispers, lips tickling over my cheek. “Can I kiss you, please?”
I open my eyes and shudder. His pupils have dialled out and his body is predatorily still. I tilt my face upwards and his body bows towards me.
“I need you to say yes or no, River,” he urges, eyes trained on my lips.
I’m drunk on the power that this moment is giving me over him. The ability to bestow or deprive, give or take. He’s so desperate for my consent that it makes me feel luscious, wicked.My eyes flicker down and I see the cross pendant hanging over his t-shirt.
“What if I say no?” I whisper, sliding my hands up to his wrists.
His fingers press more firmly into the base of my throat. “Is that what you’re going to say?”
We walk backwards until my body touches the hard surface of his door, and he quickly moves one hand to my head, cupping it protectively. He looks so wild. I want to toy with him for the rest of my life.
I shake my head and he groans.
“Please say it, River,” he begs quietly, his soft hair tickling my forehead.
I can’t restrain my little smug smile any longer and it makes him beam lovingly at me in return.
“Okay,” I say. “Yes Tate, you can.”
He smiles against my lips.
“Thank you,” he says.
And then he kisses me.
His touch is so perfect that I choose to stay still, not wanting to disrupt the moment. He gently kisses his lips to mine and then he remains motionless, assessing my response so that he can decide what to do next. I have never been kissed before and he can probably tell. There’s a hint of wetness between our mouths but I think that it might be his shower water dripping over us.
He pulls back after a few seconds and searches my eyes. His are dark and stormy.
“Was that okay?” he asks, forehead brushing against mine. His voice has never been this deep before.
“It was okay,” I admit. It was kind of alien but, at the same time, I don’t want him tonotdo it again.
He breathes out a laugh and buries his face into my neck. “‘Okay’,” he repeats, his voice tormented. “I have to do better than that.” He lifts back up and looks down into my eyes. “Have you ever been kissed before? In fact, don’t answer that.” He threads his fingers through my hair and gives me a devious smile. “Iam your first kiss.”
I laugh and he rubs his nose against mine.
