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I shrugged. “I mean, I kind of have to be, with Dylan. I needed you to accept me the way I was back then. It was just what I needed. But now, Dylan needs me to be better.” I looked away and started peeling potatoes. When I looked over again to check on Dylan, I noticed Dexter sitting with him on the floor, playing with him. “Staying for dinner?” I asked him.
“If Theo doesn’t mind.” He didn’t look up from Dylan’s toys.
“He’s working.”
So awkward.
“And it’s not like he hates you,” I added. “You’re Dylan’s father.”
“Ah, yes. But he and I both know that isn’t all I am,” he murmured. “I’m a little excited. I’ve never had your cooking before.”
I clenched the knife tightly in my hand. I chose to ignore him and seasoned the food before preheating the oven. I swore I heard him laugh but when I turned, he was looking at Dylan’s blocks, stacking them with determination.
“What are you doing?” I asked, trying not to smile at the sight.
Dylan noticed his father playing with his blocks and brought his attention to them, smashing what Dexter had created.
“Oh man,” Dexter exclaimed before grabbing Dylan and tickling him.
My little boy’s laughter made my heart constrict.
Ourlittle boy.
When Dylan reached for me to save him, I washed my hands and headed toward the chaos on my kitchen floor. By the time I wrestled Dylan from Dexter’s clutches, the oven dinged, indicating that it was preheated. I got up and put the chicken in.
“Come here, Blue. I need your expertise.”
I straightened, only losing half my breath over the name Dexter always used to call me. “What do you need?” I squatted down, making myself eye level with Dylan, who sat quietly as Dexter built the blocks up again. When Dylan seemed content to move on to his other toys, I faced his father.
“I’m the architect. But I need a designer.” His eyes that were once focused intently on the matter at hand moved to me.
The crystal-clear blue dominated my thoughts, but even my memories couldn’t do them justice.
He smiled, and I blinked away. Dylan was none the wiser, playing with a toy car beside us.
“How does it look?” Dexter asked me.
Red, yellow, blue, and green blocks made up the towering building, in no specific order. But because I didn’t want to sit there and stare at Dexter all night, I reached for the uppermost block—blue—that happened to be on top of another blue.
“Too much of one color isn’t a good thing,” I whispered as I moved to set the block down.
He grabbed my hand, stopping me. My lips parted as he took the piece of smoothed wood from my hold and put it right back on top.
“No such thing as too much blue.” His hand was still holding mine and the more I remained still, the more he corrected himself until his palm was against mine. Pulse against pulse. Both of ours beat strongly against the other’s. The same way our love did—beating and battering each other to near death. But it felt fuckingamazingto touch him, and to be touched by him. He filled me with such life.
Hell, he reminded me I was alive, in a more potent way than breathing ever could. He was a reminder to my heart, my head—and my hormones.
My defenses were lowering, each of them falling like the tower of blocks Dylan had smashed a few minutes ago, when the sound of keys pushing into the lock had me jumping back. In an effort to remove my hand from Dexter’s, I hit the blocks and they hit the floor. Theo looked up at us as he removed his key from the door.
Why is he back so soon?
“Hey, my meeting got can—oh. Hey, Dex,” he said, making his way to us and dropping a kiss to my forehead.
I noticed the bouquet of red roses in his hand and I smiled. I was in such a confusing place, so I closed my eyes.
I didn’t want to see Dexter’s face. It felt like a betrayal to Theo to look at the man who’d been the only one to trulyhaveme, the only one to kiss my forehead before him. But I turned Dexter’s way anyway. Because seeing him would set me free of him, wouldn’t it?
Dexter was already standing when I gathered the nerve to open my eyes.
