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A, B, C…names starting with A…
“Um…Amanda?” I offered.
She smiled and shook her head. Then she said it aloud. “Emily Amanda Andrews.” She paused. “I like it. Sure.”
“Boy?”
The doctor came in, followed by Miranda. He sat in front of Noa’s spread ankles and peeked under the white sheet spread across her. Then he looked up. “Ready to push?”
She nodded with a tearful laugh. Miranda stood on Noa’s other side and there was a blur of activity—nurses coming in and out as the doctor prepared for our baby to meet us. Within a few minutes, it was time to push. In between each push, Noa and I talked names. Rather, I made suggestions and Noa nodded or shook her head.
“What about Leo?” I asked, waiting for her signal.
She nodded her head and held her breath as she pushed. I winced as she squeezed my hand.
“Come on, sweetie. You’ve done this. But this time will be different,” Miranda said over Noa’s grunts.
The hurt in my heart was momentary but I still felt it. I hadn’t been given a choice, but I had one now.
After a few more pushes, the world stopped.
And a tiny wail filled the room.
“It’s a boy,” the doctor announced as he held up our son.
“He’s alive,” Noa whispered in wonder, tears in her eyes, as I snipped his umbilical cord. “Dear God, he’s alive.”
I saw him, and I loved him. I saw him and I loved his mother more than I thought possible.
I saw him and I had the hope Noa tried so hard to avoid.
Dylan Leo Andrews.
He was our miracle and I planned on cherishing him the way I should’ve cherished Noa. Her eyes were full and when I kissed her, the tears spilled onto her pink skin. She’d been brave and brought Dylan to life.
And she didn’t know it yet, but she’d also brought us back to life.
* * *
I entered the room,balloons and flowers in my hands, my smile ready. Noa was sitting up with Dylan in her arms. The door shut quietly behind me and she looked up.
She smiled sweetly, love in her eyes. “Look. It’s Daddy,” she whispered.
I set the flowers and balloons down before looking over her shoulder at our sleeping boy. “How’s he been?”
She smiled back up at me. “Alive. Beautiful. I feel like I’m dreaming. Did we really make him?”
I nodded with pride. They looked like everything I’d ever hoped for. I felt likeIwas the one dreaming. “Today was a big day for him.”
“Yeah, he’s sleepy. I can’t put him down for the life of me. I just want to stare at him.” She groaned and laid her head on my shoulder. “I’ll ruin him, but I’m so scared I’ll wake up and this will all be a lie.”
“He isn’t going anywhere. Neither am I.” I kissed her forehead and she sat up.
“Put him in his crib, please.”
I grabbed the bundle from her carefully and looked at him for a moment before setting him in the rolling crib the hospital provided. After making sure he was sleeping, I turned to Noa, who was looking awfully serious for such a joyous occasion.
“We’re parents now. We have to talk about what that means,” she said, her eyes on mine.
