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What is he saying?
“Which leads me to a few years ago. I held onto you for so long, Blue. You have to believe me. But I was so lonely without you. I ran into someone and she…she made me feel better. It was friendship at first and then it became a pleasant affair. I didn’t love her in the real sense, but I held a deep affection for her.” He sat back. “But I had to end it. I kept thinking I was being unfair to her. She was expecting me to marry her and I never would. I didn’t love her the way a man should love his wife. So, I broke it off. And I figured I should be alone.”
He grabbed my hand. “You see, it’s either going to be you, or I’m going to die alone and hope to catch you in another life. Because no one can even comecloseto you, Noa.”
I pulled my hand back, wrapping both of them around my warm mug. “Was she blonde?”
Of everything he told me—even the part about some Grim Reaper—that was what I cared about.
“What?” he asked, chuckling. “No. Rachel was definitely not blonde.”
“Rachel?” I set my cup down. “You’re not talking about…Mouse?”
“Yes, actually.” He smiled lightly. “Mouse.”
“I want to hate her. I really do, but I can’t. She’s sweet.”
He nodded, not saying anything else.
“I don’t think you’re crazy,” I said, deciding then and there that if he believed what he was saying, I wasn’t going to try to convince him otherwise. “Does that make me crazy?”
He shook his head. The fact that he wasn’t talking worried me. Then he looked up at me with laughter in his eyes. “No. Want to hear something crazier? When I really stopped to think about it recently, I knew if I could find you once, find you twice, I could find you again. I just had to stop being scared.”
“You’re always so sure,” I said.
“You make it easy for me to be.”
I wasn’t sure we were talking about the same person, considering I was a basket case throughout our tumultuous teenage love affair.
His cell phone rang, breaking the moment. My eyes went to it, unable to stop the reflex.
“Speak of the devil,” I said after seeing it was Rachel calling.
Why is she calling?
He cleared his throat and grabbed his phone. “Sorry, I have to take this. I’ll be right outside.” He stepped out of my apartment, and I couldn’t help but wonder why.
He has something to hide.
The evil little gremlin inside whispered the words even as I shook my head. They’d had something and they deserved their privacy. Especially if Dexter wanted to move forward with me.
Not that I was entirely sure I wanted to move forward with him.
I groaned.
In my perfectly simple little life, this was a mess waiting to happen. And I had to back up, take a deep breath, and walk away.
Hehurtme. He could do it again. I couldn’t give him that power.
I heard the quiet murmur of his voice and I picked up both mugs, bringing them to the kitchen. On my way back, he opened the door slightly and I overheard some of his conversation.
“I love you too, baby,” he said softly. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
He was too busy staring at his phone while he opened the door to see the shock and anger on my face. But once he looked up, his eyes widened, and he held out his hands. “It’s not what you’re thinking, Blue.”
“Too cliché, Dexter.” I clenched my fists. “And stop calling me that. I’m not her anymore!” I wanted to throw something but there was nothing in my reach.
“Just let me explain,” he pleaded, knowing I was getting angry.
