Page 58 of When We Crash


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And while Noa seemed much better, I let her take the reins and decide the speed of this relationship. The ball wasn’t in her court; she owned the damn court—the ball,andme.

If I was honest with myself, my loving Noa was old news. Living without telling her wasn’t exactly difficult. I’d been doing it all along.

It hadn’t taken time for me to fall in love with her. I met her, and I loved her name. I loved her honest expression and her randomness. The more time we spent together, I uncovered more things I loved—like her vulnerability, hidden by her smart remarks. Or the fact that she onlyseemedfree. At the end of it all, I wondered why people made it a big deal to say it.

Maybe I hadn’t known Noa long, or at all, but I loved her in the way that a seed is planted. And as time passed, it grew into something I could only bask in.

I loved her with a sense of reverence, hanging onto her every word, waiting on her smile, watching for her anxiety, ready to ease her mind. The way I thought that feeling should be. Dangerously, fearlessly, selflessly.

Completely.

“I’m gonna unpack and then I’ll meet you guys downstairs,” I said, reaching for my bag.

“Don’t forget your swim trunks.” She floated out of the room.

I wasn’t going to. I was looking forward to seeing Noa in a bikini, after all.

Dexter

I steppedout of my bedroom and jogged down the steps in my swim trunks and T-shirt. I turned into the hall, the sliding doors in front of me. My eyes looked to the wall, and I stopped.

The photos that were there not even twenty minutes ago were gone. All that remained were the ones of me and my parents.

Is this house playing tricks on me?

I shook my head and headed outside.

“Finally,” Ralph exclaimed as I stepped onto the deck.

They were all ready and waiting for me. I came outside prepared to ask questions, but when Noa stood and tugged me down the steps and through the grass, I let it go. We reached the end of the dock, and she pulled off her dress.

I was pretty sure she couldn’t have knocked the wind out of me more effectively with a physical blow. Before I could wipe the drool from my chin, she jumped into the water. When she surfaced, her hair fanned out in the water and she smiled, calling me in. A siren’s song.

I took off my shirt and jumped in. The crash of the water was overwhelming, and when my head broke the surface, I looked for her. “Noa?” I called out, waiting a few minutes before ducking down.

She swam up beside me, pulling me against her. Her mouth found mine, and I ran my hand down her back, pressing her closer.

When she pulled me back up, I saw Tracey waving at us from the dock where she yelled, “Lunch is on the table!”

I turned to Noa, who then announced that she’d race me there. Having gotten a head start, I let her win. But as soon as she climbed the dock, I followed her up and threw her over my shoulder, laughing at her playful shrieks. I set her down on the wooden steps leading up to the back patio.

“I can walk, you know.” Her hands were on her hips, and I couldn’t help the slow travel of my eyes as I took in the sight of her in her bikini.

Don’t look at her boobs.

There were little flowers all over her bathing suit.

Don’t look at her boobs.

I wondered if she liked flowers.

Don’t look at her boobs.

She painted them sometimes…

And I was looking at her boobs.

I’d gotten to second base with her and was in no rush to go farther. But it still made my blood rush to see them so pertly on display in front of me.

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