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“You listen. Take me home. Take me home right now,” she cried. Pausing, she took a breath. “I don’t know why I even came here. I don’t belong here.” She started wiping the lipstick off her lips, and I understood just how quickly this night went to shit.
I shook my head. “What exactly did she say to you?”
“You’re a pig! Just like I thought you’d be. This is some fucking joke to you! And I let you get in my head. I let you in more than anyone,ever.” She nearly sobbed the words. “I’m in a downward fucking spiral, Dexter. I don’t expect you to understand.”
“Maybe because you haven’t let me in at all!” I yelled in frustration. I instantly regretted it. “Noa, come on. You call this letting me in?”
She shoved past me and walked out, pushing into people to get away from me.
I caught up to her on the front lawn. “Stay, please. Talk to me,” I pleaded, walking beside her.
“I can’t be here.” She wiped at her tears again and it broke me.
“I don’t want to push you, b—”
“Then don’t!” she screamed, then whirled around to run back inside.
I didn’t know what to expect when I caught up with her again, but it certainly wasn’t the sight of her downing vodka.
She set the bottle down and saw me standing there, shocked. She spread her arms, welcoming my confused stare. “See? Imperfections.”
She took more shots, and when I thought she’d had enough, she kept going. I figured she’d get up and dance like the other drunk people, but I began to understand that she was a sad drunk. She stumbled along, swaying to the music, slurring and shooting me looks that made me want to shake her and beg her to talk to me.
At some point in the night, she was too drunk to function. It took quite a lot of alcohol to get her to that point, which confused me.
And that was when I realized I was only beginning to learn who Noa was.
Dexter
It isn’t goingto be easy. Love worth keeping hardly ever is.
I groaned as the sun streamed through the blinds I forgot to close last night. I sat up and blinked, feeling disoriented.
I was lying on the couch in my room. Immediately, my eyes went to my bed, where I tucked Noa in last night. The bed was made, and there was no sign of her. Except that I could smell her everywhere.
I never thought I could relate a color to a scent, but Noa smelled like the color blue. Like slow summer rain and lavender fields.
Where’d she go?
I got up, opened my door, and walked as quickly as I could down the stairs. “Where are you going?” I asked as I saw Noa opening the front door. “You’re just going to sneak off?” I walked over to her and pushed the door shut, leaning against it.
She looked defeated. Her hair was down, and her eyes were tired. “What is there to talk about, Dexter? I was a wreck last night. I feel like I’m going backward with you, and I can’t afford to do that.” Her lips trembled, but she kept her face straight.
“See, that’s what I’m talking about. You’re speaking in riddles, Noa. You ask me questions, you get honest-to-goodness answers. I ask you questions—very rarely—and you either lie or tell some warped version of the truth. I’m—” I tugged at my hair. “I’m like a starving man, and you’re feeding me fucking breadcrumbs.”
“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” she asked loudly, and I couldn’t help the embarrassed heat that spread across my face.
I straightened and moved away from the door, gesturing toward it with an angry flourish. “You want out, there’s the door.”
Though her eyes filled, she opened the door and stepped out, closing it gently behind her.
I walked up the steps, prepared to go back to sleep and deal with her later. But I stopped at the top and turned.
Noa would want that. She was looking for a reason to leave, a reason for me to leave. And if I left her now, she’d never let me back in.
I ran back down to the front door and yanked it open, jogging after her. I grabbed her arm and spun her around so she was facing me. “Damn it, Blue. Quit pushing me away.” I pulled her into my arms and placed my chin on top of her head.
She didn’t fight me, only stood there. Finally, her arms wrapped around my waist.
