AllFreeNovel
Share Us
His expression remained surprisingly calm. “Is that supposed to offend me?”
“Just stating the obvious.”
“I’d rather be a cold-hearted bastard than have people think I’m soft.” By the way he gave me a once-over, I assumed he was referring to me as the soft one. Or maybe Americans in general, since it seemed we settled into our own mini Cold War.
“I don’t think there’s anything soft about you,” I threw back, dragging my gaze up and down his body. It was to prove a point, but also... damn, he looked good in a suit. Somewhere along the way he lost the black tie from earlier, so now it was just the crisp white shirt, partially unbuttoned, beneath the black jacket.
He leaned forward, answering through his teeth. “Good.”
Unfolding my arms, I reached for him. “So just how hard are you? Do you need to throw me around first, or is the verbal banter enough?”
“Don’t touch me,” he snapped, jerking away and retreating several steps.
“You didn’t seem to mind earlier,” I challenged, taking a step in his direction. Why was it ok for him to get inmyface, but not the other way around? Hypocrite.
“Earlier?” His dark brows slanted sharply, his shoulders and spine so rigid you could probably bend metal against them. “You’re lucky no one saw!”
“Why? Is it such a crime?”
“Yes!” Danger flashed in his pale eyes, tinged with another emotion. Hatred? Fear? “It is the worst sin! Worse than murder or adultery or theft. The only cure is death.”
“Maybe that’s how it is in the Old World, but not here.”
He barked out a laugh. “No? Let me tell you a story. When I was fifteen, I met a man. A boy, really, like me. We worked for the same man, lived in the same house, pulled the same jobs. Two years later they caught him with another man.” He swallowed thickly, the muscles in his neck visibly tense.
“It was an American. They beat the American senseless and brought Pavel to our boss. They tortured him for days.” His gaze clouded over, dropping from my face. I wanted to reach out to him, but I was frozen in place by his story and its underlying message. I knew where it was headed before he even said the words.
“Everyone in the brigade came and watched as a group of us beat him to death,” Sasha continued, rubbing his knuckles as he spoke. He didn’t even seem to be aware he was doing it. “I broke my hand I hit him so hard.”
Silence pressed around us. The weight of his past was suffocating, but he seemed unaffected by it. Maybe because he’d lived with it for so long already.
“Sasha, I—”
“Don’t,” he growled, his eyes clear and hard, like ice again. “You think I’m sad because I killed my friend? I’m not. I’d do it again. He deserved it. He made the wrong choice.”
I shook my head, refusing to believe his bravado. “You don’t mean that.”
“You know nothing.” His lip curled into a sneer.
“I know you’re not heartless.”
“Heart has nothing to do with it. There is right and there is wrong. Queers are wrong. They are sick.” He tapped his temple with two fingers. “Killing them is the most merciful thing you can do.”
“No, Sasha. Whoever told you that is the one who is wrong.” I moved forward another step, trying to get him to listen — really listen. He wasn’t in the fucking Soviet Union anymore. “You can’t help who you love any more than you can help how tall you are or what color your skin is. It’s not a fucking choice, it justis.”
Shaking his head, he looked away sharply, his hands balled into fists.
“What do you see when you look at me?” I asked, spreading my hands to the sides. “Do I look sick? Do I look like someone you should torture and kill because I’m gay? How about when you look in the mirror?”
Shit. Too far, Roan...
His head whipped toward me and he lunged forward, his hand wrapping around my throat in an instant. “You better watch your fucking mouth!”
“Go on, kill me,” I spat with what little air I had left. “It doesn’t change a goddamn thing about either of us.”
Breathing hard, his fingers tightened. I was convinced he was going to do it — he was finally going to kill me. With one quick jerk, he pulled me forward. My mouth crashed against his, teeth and tongues colliding. I wasn’t kissing him so much asbeingkissed, with anger and need and desperation. The hand on my throat slipped around to the back, threading through my hair to cradle the back of my head.
Unbuttoning his jacket, I ran my hands around his waist, pulling his hips against me. Groaning against my lips, his other hand palmed my jaw, holding me in place while he ravaged my mouth with his.
