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Angling myself toward him in the chair, I watched his every move, waiting for the attack. He seemed to be studying me with the same wariness, his gaze darting from my face to my hands and back again.
After a prolonged period of silence, I spit out the question that had been festering since yesterday. Unfortunately, it was with none of the control I usually displayed. “How did you escape?!”
A coy smile lit up his face. “Doesn’t matter. I’m here to talk about something else.”
“It does.” I cocked my head, trying to keep my voice steady and not beat the answer out of him. “Ivan lost two fingers because of it.”
Roan’s brow furrowed, the mischievous spark in his eye diminished. “How?”
I leaned forward, holding his stare to make sure he was paying attention. “I cut them off.”
“Jesus Christ!” He recoiled and averted his gaze. For a split second, he looked at me the same way everyone else did, like I was some sort of monster. But when he looked up again, all I saw was confusion. “Why would you do that?!”
“Because you escaped,” I replied with a shrug. “I needed information.”
“So you cut someone’s fingers off?”
“I would have cut off every piece of him if it meant getting you back.” The truth of that statement hit me as hard as a battering ram. Iwouldhave — and I’d do it again. Roan didn’t seem to understand the lengths I’d go to once I dedicated myself to a job. And losing him? Unacceptable.
“Why?” Roan asked quietly. “What is it you want from my dad?” He leaned forward ever so slightly, his blue eyes full of sadness, desperation even. He reminded me so much of Pavel right then. The memory seized my heart and squeezed, to the point I thought it was going to burst.
“It doesn’t matter.” Shaking my head, I propped my elbows on my knees and laced my fingers together, staring at the glass table in front of us. My lighter was in my pocket, as always, taunting me. If I could burn myself, it would burn away the feelings. But I couldn’t exactly do that in front of the kid. Until then, I’d have to visualize a void and throw every useless thing into it, like feelings and memories and unnatural desires.
Black, empty, nothingness. That’s what I said I had to be. That’s what I was meant to be. A wolf.Man is wolf to man. That’s what was tattooed across my abdomen, beneath the snapping jaws of my eponym.That’swhat I had to remember, not a blue-eyed boy from twenty years ago who sealed his own fate by making the wrong fucking choice.
“Is it this?” Roan’s voice broke through the memories. He held out his hand and uncurled his fingers, revealing a key. No,thekey. The master key for the Northern Illinois Bank & Trust security deposit boxes. I swiped for it, but he jerked his hand away, his face suddenly hard. “No. First, you tell me why.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to see what his angle was. “Why are you here? Why did you look for me? And how the fuck did you know to ask for the Wolf?”
He licked his lips quickly. “Ivan called you the Wolf. I figured if I asked around for a huge, tattooed guy named Sasha aka: the Wolf, that word would get back to you. And I was right.” A soft smile tugged the corner of his mouth. Smart little shit, I’d give him that.
“Why did you come back?” I repeated each word slowly. He had freedom. Somehow, he found a way and he left. And now, eighteen hours later, he purposely sought me out. Me. The one who kidnapped him in the first place.
His blue eyes dropped for a minute and his jaw shifted to the side. I thought he was going to ignore me, but he dragged his gaze back up to mine, all of his earlier cockiness gone. “Because you didn’t lie to me.”
I furrowed my brows, not understanding what he was really trying to say.
He looked away again with a wince. “My dad lied. He told me he never got a ransom demand, that my parents just thought I left. But I found it on his computer.” Shaking his head, he glared at the nothingness in front of him, his hand clenching around the key. “All he had to do was give you this stupid fucking key and he couldn’t even do that for me.”
“Wouldn’t,” I corrected. “Hewouldn’tdo that for you. He was given many opportunities.”
His gaze flicked back to mine, his full lips twitching in thought. As much as I hated to admit, he looked better as a free man. The golden glow I was used to seeing returned, somewhat. His hair was still a tousled mess on top, but he’d shaved and smelled like summertime again. “And then there’s you…”
Ready to be insulted, I pushed my shoulders back, molars already grinding together to keep from tearing his head off.
“You said you’d cut a guy into pieces to keep me around. I know, it’s all about this” — Roan held the key up for emphasis — “that I’m a means to an end for you, but it’s more than I can say about that asshole. He was willing to let me be held hostage and more than likely killed over a fucking key.”
“So you came to me for revenge?” His anger was palpable. Not that I blamed him. If I had a father and he treated me the same way, I would want revenge too.
He sucked his lower lip between his teeth, giving a small shrug.
“You want me to kill him?” I clarified, focusing on murder instead of his mouth.
“No!” he replied, his eyes wide.
I spread my hands, equal parts confused and frustrated. “Then what? Why are you here?”
“I want to help you.”
