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He stirred, only to shake his head and roll away from me, curling up tighter around the cat.
“I know you’re exhausted,” I said with a sigh. “But you really need to wake up.”
“Why?” he groaned.
“Because your bomb maker is here.”
For a moment, time seemed to stop. Given his lack of reaction, I assumed he didn’t hear me. Then he sat up slowly, giving me a wary look, like he expected me to take his head off at any moment.
I tried to smile, but I knew it was nothing short of bitter. “Yeah, I know about him.”
He ran a hand through his hair, casting his gaze downward.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because you wouldn’t approve.” Leander looked up at me again, his eyes finally clear.
“It’s not that I wouldn’t approve...” I cocked my head, trying to keep the frown off my face and appear as understanding as possible in this impossible situation. “It’s simply because children are different.”
Jaw clenched, he shook his head. “No, they’re not. They just have to wait longer for their vengeance. I ensured we aren’t waiting along with them.”
“It’s theguiltthat is different.” I took his face in my hands gently. “You already carry so much, my love. You don’t need this on top of it.”
“It was the only way.”
“But why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to burden you...”
“That’s my job, in every facet of my life — as your husband, as your partner, your lawyer. Lean on me. I promise I won’t break.”
“I’m afraid I will,” he whispered, tears welling in his eyes. “And I’d never forgive myself if I destroyed you in the process.”
The minute I wrapped my arms around him, a sob racked his body. He clung to me like a life preserver, while I ran a hand over his hair and whispered small assurances.
This was the part about being a villain that no one ever saw. You already knew what you were doing was wrong by society’s standards, but you did it anyway, be it for love or hate or whatever fucking reason you came up with.
Leander claimed he was a monster, but monsters had no conscience. Monsters destroyed everyone and everything around them and went to sleep peacefully at night. They were brilliant liars,especiallyto themselves.
If I’d never met Leander, or if I’d walked away after he was arrested, none of this would have ever happened. Cole and Olivia would still be alive. Leander would still be in one piece. Life would have carried on as usual for so many different people.
But I stayed. I refused to give up the love of my life for entirely selfish reasons. I knew it was wrong, and I did anyway. I was also the one who slept peacefully at night.
Guess I wasn’t a villain, after all.
I was the fucking monster.
37
Bennett
Driving for what felt like hours to the middle of bum-fuck Missouri in the dead of night was not how I envisioned my evening. Following Leander’s sporadic commands, we finally turned off the road and bumped along a hard-packed drive to a pair of silos. If I would have known we were basically going off-roading, I would have insisted on taking Leander’s SUV and not my poor Maserati.
Jake’s truck was there, along with Elijah’s SUV.
The car was barely in park before Leander bailed out the passenger door and ducked into one of the silos.
In a surprising flash of déjà vu, I was reminded of my bonding time with Jake up north. Instead of a drunk has-been security guard, another man was strung up before me in the center of the silo. Chained around the waist with his arms pinned to his sides, he dangled from the beam overhead. He was bleeding profusely from his face, but he was still alive.
