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Casey stopped coloring. “Uncle Richard yelled at you. He said it was your fault.”
Zane’s breath jammed in his throat. “And what do you think?”
“He’s dumb. It wasn’t on purpose.” Casey shrugged philosophically. “Accidents happen, ya know.” He frowned. “I shouldn’t have looked over at that goofy Jen. Then I’d’ve seen the ball coming.Girls.”
Casey didn’t blame him for the injury. For the second time in minutes, relief washed through him. He sagged against the headboard. The other men in Jillian’s life were making him run the emotional gauntlet tonight.
“Zane?” Casey picked worriedly at the wrapper on the green crayon. “I got to ask you a question. A real important question.”
“Shoot, pal.”
“Are you my daddy?”
Zane’s heart lurched to a stop for what seemed like a full minute. Then resumed beating wildly in his chest. He longed for Casey to know the truth. But more than anything, he didn’t want to do or say anything that would hurt his son.
Before he could figure out how to respond, Casey continued. “‘Cause when I was layin’ in the grass at the field, I heard Aunt Jelly say I was your son.” Casey held his gaze, eyes wide and somber. “Is that for reals?”
Zane gulped. Looked at Jillian for guidance. She offered him a serene, I-have-utter-faith-in-you nod. “Ah … yes,” he answered shakily. “I’m your dad.”
Casey stared down at the crayon, little nervous fingers shredding the wrapper. “Why didn’t you ever come to see me before? Didn’t you like me?”
Zane winged up an arrow prayer asking for the words he couldn’t seem to find. He lifted his son’s chin to meet his gaze. “I love you very much. Don’t ever doubt that.” How to explain so the child would understand, without bringing up Deb’s decision not to inform Zane? “You know how you used to be afraid of the ball? You were scared to play, because you didn’t know how to catch and you were afraid you’d get hurt?”
Casey nodded and Zane soldiered on. “Well. I didn’t know how to be a dad. I was worried I couldn’t be a good dad to you. You deserved the best dad in the world. I stayed away because I was scared I’d do something wrong and accidentally hurt you. It didn’t have anything to do with not liking you. It was because I was afraid.”
His son stared at him. Zane held his breath as cold terror and desperate hope churned inside him.
Casey nodded again, like a wise old man. “Ya know what ya need?”
“What?”
Casey grinned. “Lotsa practice. Remember what ya told me about playing ball? It’s okay to be scared. And you’re trying real hard, that’s the important thing. Someday, you won’t be scared anymore.”
Tears blurred Zane’s vision, and he blinked. His child had accepted him unconditionally. With wisdom and grace far beyond his years. Casey was already an amazing person at the tender age of five. He would grow up to be an extraordinary man. A bright balloon of happiness swelled inside Zane and floated upward, making him lightheaded. He swallowed the choking lump in his throat. “You’re extremely smart, you know that?”
“Do ya think?”
“Yeah, I think.” He ruffled Casey’s hair. Richard would be successful at taking away his son over Zane’s dead body. “How about if I practice by being your dad, for, say ... the rest of your life?”
The little boy burst into a sunny grin. “Epic!” He flung his arms around Zane. “Can I call you Daddy?”
Daddy.Zane’s heart overflowed. “You bet.” He and Jillian gave Casey simultaneous hugs, wrapping their child in a cocoon of love.
Casey squirmed. “Now that the mushy junk is over, can a guy get his juice pop?” he asked. “Please?”
Zane’s gaze met Jillian’s over their son’s head. They shared a heartbeat of shared, silent amusement. Then they both burst into laughter.
As the hug ended and Zane drew back, his cell phone rang. Caller ID said it was Mia. Custody news? Zane tensed. He flipped open the phone. “Yeah?”
“My, aren’t our boxers in a bunch?”
“Sorry. Stressful day.” Was it about to get worse?
“I understand. I have the judge’s decision.”
“Can you hang on a sec?” Pulse hammering, he pressed the hold key and stood. “Casey, I have to talk to someone. Why don’t you color me an extra special picture?”
“‘K,Daddy.”The little boy grinned widely as he chose a red crayon and vigorously scribbled.
