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Let her hell … he clung to her.
“You’re fully aware of what just happened here. And don’t tell me you have no idea what I mean, because you felt it too.”
Now that his initial horror over bringing her to tears had faded, he was very much afraid he did.
“I love you,” she murmured against his throat.
He gritted his teeth. He knew. Had known since their wedding night in Tahoe. But denial was the only weapon he possessed against her.
Trying desperately not to want, not to need, not to hope, he stiffened. “Don’t.Don’t love me.”
“That’s like asking the sun not to shine. The flowers not to bloom. You can’t turn love off and on. Love simply is.”
“If you try hard enough, you can control anything.”
She pulled away to look at him. Surprising amusement played at the corners of her generous mouth. “Is that what you believe? Oh, Champ, you’re in for a big surprise.”
He felt sick. “You might have a fairy tale fetish, but the rest of us are earthbound.”
“Look me in the eye and tell me what we just shared was merely scratching an itch.” She held his gaze. “Tell me it didn’t mean anything.”
He couldn’t.
Because—God help him—she was right.
“People take off their clothes and have sex all the time. But opening yourself to someone, letting them into your mind, your heart, your soul … that’s truly baring yourself to each other. We’re connected now. We’re part of each another.”
She caressed his cheek. “You’re not the cold, unfeeling man you pretend to be to protect yourself.” Her tender voice offered the comfort and safety he longed to accept. “In spite of the fact that you strive so hard to hide him, I’ve seen therealZane Wolfe. You’re caring and thoughtful, with an enormous capacity to love. If you would only let yourself.”
A bittersweet ache twisted deep inside. For the first time in his life, he felt wanted. Accepted. Cherished.
The hell was, he didn’t know how to accept what she was offering.
Loving him made Jillian all the more vulnerable. Made it easier for him to wound her. Kind hearts were the most fragile. Sooner or later, he’d destroy her, and his son. He refused to do that to them. “I can’t give you what you need. What you deserve. I don’t know how to love you back.”
She smiled. A smile of absolute surety. A smile that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. “You can’t deny what’s between us. As much as you want to control it by sheer will, it’s impossible.”
Pulse hammering, he shook his head.
“Sure, you can run … but you can’t hide from it. Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped running?”
Zane stared at the woman who’d given him her body, heart, and soul without reservation. Marveled at the trust and affection shimmering in her eyes. Apparently, kind hearts were more stubborn—and more resilient—than he’d realized.
A dim, shaky flicker of warmth sparked to life in his heart.
She captured his trembling hand in both of her small, warm ones. “No matter what you do, what you say … even if you choose to run again … I will never stop loving you, Zane.”
The small hopeful flame steadied, warmth spreading, glowing through every dark space inside. She never gave in. Never lost hope. Never quit. There was such peacefulness, serenity, rightness with her.
Things he’d never felt with anyone.
When he’d let his shields down, they’d shared a connection he couldn’t explain. Merely being in her presence soothed every tortured memory branded on his soul. Feelings welled up inside him, and for the first time, he dared to name them.
Respect.
Trust.
Love.
