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“Don’t say it,” she says, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I should be telling the dean of the school and… what will Mom say!”
“She won’t say anything because you’re not going to tell her,” I say seriously.
“Emily, you can’t ask me to keep this a secret.”
“You wouldn’t even have known until youbargedin after I said no!” I raise my voice. “I was very clear in the group text thatI wasn’t going home. I was clear when you showed up.Youkept pushing.Youignored the boundaries I set.”
“That’s not the problem here. It’s—”
“It is the problem, Sarah. You’re my sister and I love you, but you always do what our parents say even if it hurts me. Every time I stand up for myself, you try to help, and they throw your perfect life in my face. My relationship with Adrian might not be perfect, but it’smine. I chose to be here. I choose every day to text him back. I choose every day towanthim. I can’t help the lust, but I chose to start things again with him. He didn’t. We’re a good couple, and if you can’t see that, it’s not my job to convince you.” I get it all out and realize I’m panting and squishing the fish.
Adrian appears behind her, edges by Sarah, and gently touches my cheek. “Emily…”
“You know how much I like you and care about you. You read to me, remember every detail I say, make me feel valued and strong and appreciated. The sex is great, but the reason I can’t walk away isn’t because of our fun. It’s because of you,” I say as tears prickle.
He gently kisses my forehead, then my temple. “We’re not having fish tonight.”
I chuckle. “I crushed it,” I grumble. “I got too excited.”
“We’re going to order in,” he promises.
“How do you think this is going to go for you guys? That you’ll be able to keep dating under cover until Emily graduates? That you’ll be able to pull it off without anyone finding out?” Sarah demands.
“We’ll have to see how long we have to keep it a secret,” Adrian says, his hand stroking down my back. “I’m just an adjunct professor. It’s my job, not who I am.”
Sarah takes a slow breath. “Well, Emily, you say you’re a good couple, that he’s not controlling, that you’re happy, and I don’t see it. Convince me.”
I blink at her. “What?”
“Convince me. Tonight. We’ll all have dinner. It’s not like we haven’t done it before,” she says darkly.
As much as I want to argue, I know it’s not going to get us anywhere. I look up at Adrian. He meets my eyes, then rubs my lower back. “What would you both like to eat?”
“Are you going to put on a front?” Sarah scoffs.
“I didn’t put on a front at the wedding. I’m not putting on a front now. Baby, do you want to unpack or are you planning on leaving with your sister?”
I glare at Sarah. “You offered to let me stay until Friday morning, so I’m staying. I’m tired of only having you Saturday and Sunday mornings and for date nights.”
Sarah and I choose a restaurant, and Adrian looks around like he doesn’t recognize his own home. I know he’s not used to having people over. I’m the only person who visits, the only person he’s made room for.
“Is my drawer still open?” I ask.
“Yes,” he answers. “Choose a book for us tonight too. I chose last time. And you’re reading tonight.”
“That’s not fair. I love your reading voice. I always trip over my words,” I complain.
He chuckles lightly. “I like it, and we agreed to stay fair.”
“Fine,” I huff.
I take care of things in his room and come out to find my sister staring at Adrian like she’s trying to figure him out. I don’t like this setup. I don’t like that I feel like I can’t goad him or tease him the right way with her here, but we need her on our side.
We have to make sure she’s not going to tell. She can’t. It’s not an option, and that means we have to be perfect—something I’ve never been.
thirty-three
Iflip through Adrian’s books and snort. “I’m never reading medieval books to you. I hate that spelling was optional back then.”
