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Emily
Having fun. With friends. Talk tomorrow.
That’s the last messageIsent Adrian. Then he sent me way too many. My heart aches as I know what I saw doesn’t add up to what he’s saying and it makes me question everything.Then another message from me… well, Beth.
Beth is too good of a friend to have to deal with this. Guilt rolls in my stomach as I get through a shower to try and cope with it. I keep the water freezing, shivering and fighting myself even though I want to leave it.
I was stupid and I want to be punished. I want to make myself suffer. It would be better if my friends were angry at me and not babying me with my favorite iced coffee and French toast. I shudder and wrap my arms around myself as I think of how bad it could have been.
The position my friends would have been in if I had danced with Sean instead of them. I could have been in so much more trouble. Really,reallybad trouble.
Scrubbing myself until my skin is pink and angry doesn’t help. Washing my hair, brushing my teeth, dressing in my most oversized, warmest pajamas still can’t shake me out of the funk.
“Look who’s back with the living,” Beth teases, and I groan.
“I’m so sorry,” I start.
“Someonedruggedyou, Emily,” she says, forcing her eyes open. “I know drunk you. You puke twice, then drink water, eat, and you’re back to fun. This was because of them.”
“Never go back?” I ask.
“Never,” she agrees.
I lie down beside her on the couch and take her hand. “I’m still sorry. I should have done what you said. I should have checked every drink. I barely remember…”
“I’m glad we noticed and got you out of there. It could have been really bad,” she whispers.
“Yeah,” I agree.
“Also, I texted the number in your phone that kept texting you,” she informs, and I slump beside her.
She strokes my hair. “He’s really worried about you. Likereallyworried, babe. It took a few texts to keep him from coming over.”
“I messed up, but it will be okay. I’ll make it okay again,” I whisper.
“I’m sure you will,” Danielle says while carrying two mugs of coffee. “Now, let’s pamper the shit out of each other.”
A smile plays on my lips and Beth giggles. The scent of coffee prickles my nose, and I grab the mug, hoping I can forget about everything that happened last night.
The three of us do face masks, watch movies, pamper ourselves. By the time we’re having sushi as a late lunch, I don’t feel like I can say anything else without being too much.
They’ve already had to deal with me last night. I don’t want to chain them to me now. Danielle stands up after finishing her meal. “I do actually have to get back. I have this huge essay I have to do.”
“I do too,” Beth says. “For Dr. Hayes’ class. Em?”
I shrug. “I already did it,” I say honestly.
“Okay, we’re going to go to the library. Are you okay here?” Beth asks.
I nod, and Danielle heads out as Beth lingers by the door. “He’s a good guy, Em. I think you would be crazy to let him go.”
I scoff. “You don’t know what he did.”
She laughs. “From the texts I read, he didn’t do anything, and you misjudged the situation.”
“How can you say that? You don’t know everything.”
Her jaw tenses as she looks away. “True, but you love him.”
