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I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning, so I told him to come after that.
I sleep better than I have slept in a week, with no stress or worry on my mind.
At ten in the morning, I’m sitting in the doctor’s office with a smile on my face.
“Here is a list of the vitamins I recommend you take.” She hands me a piece of paper. “Did you have questions before you go?” She asks.
“Actually, yes.” I scratch around inside my handbag and pull out the sheet of pills - my contraception. “I was on these.” I hand them to her. “I wanted to know - because I fell pregnant while taking them does it pose any risk to the baby? Is there anything I need to do?”
She squints at the pills.
“What are these?” She asks, examining one pill.
“It’s my contraception. The one you prescribed me months ago.”
“No, honey. This looks very similar to your contraception but - look here.” She pulls her drawer open and takes out a pill. Sheplaces it in my hand and then places one pill I was taking right next to it.
Almost identical. But not.
The contraceptive pills are smaller, whiter. My heart races.
“What are those?” I ask, a whisper.
“I think these are sugar tablets.” She answers, frowning. “Where did you get them?”
I stare at her with my mouth hanging open. I don’t know how to answer that.
She tilts her head to the side, looking worried for me. “Did someone have access to your contraception, Nerissa?”
“Yes.” I answer, knowing that Tuomo has been coming and going as he pleases in my apartment - whether or not I am home. “Yes, someone had access to it.”
I leave the doctor’s office shaking from head to toe.
I can’t even drive.
The truth is too difficult to imagine. But I know.
I know he swapped the pills out and got me pregnant on purpose. He did this. He planned this. He tricked me. He bound me to him.
I sit inside my car, staring out of the front window at nothing. The world is spinning, and my vision is blurry.
What am I supposed to do with this knowledge?
I feel sick to my stomach.
I want to cry but I can’t. I can’t move. I can’t do anything.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Tuomo
She is late.
I’m waiting in my car outside her apartment, even though I know I could wait inside, I decide to be polite and wait to be invited.
But she’s twenty minutes late. She should have been here already.
Getting more agitated and impatient by the minute I open the tracking app on my phone.
