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“Tuomo—” I stammer, fearful of him. His anger is a dangerous thing. I’ve seen glimpses of it before but this time it looks worse. “Tuomo, accept that it’s impossible for us to be together. You willloseyour family. Don’t you get that?”
I try to step away from him, to create some distance between us but he isn’t letting me.
In the narrow alley under a sky that is growing darker by the minute he has my back pressed right up against the brick wall. I can feel the coldness of it seeping through my shirt.
“If you loved me nothing would break us apart.” He whispers with menace tainting the edge of each word.
“Yourfamily,” I cry out. “They are your entire world.”
“You are my universe.” He screams into my face, and I wince away from his anger.
“I can’t be your world.” I shout back at him, fear driving me to be more forceful.
He laughs as he runs his hand up my chest, towards my neck, wrapping his fingers around my throat. He pushes me back hard against the wall again and pain shoots through my back.
“I will never give up. I will never ever let you get away from me, Nerissa. I don’t want anyone else. No one will ever come close to having my heart the way you have it.”
My heart is imploding with pain. Why does he want me so much?
I don’t understand why he loves me this much?
No one has ever loved me this hard or fought for me like this. No one has ever wanted me enough to give up their entire world just for me.
The idea of losing me agonizes him.
What does this mean?
I reach up and touch his face and his grip loosens. I trace my fingers over the perfect shape of his jaw. His eyes are glittering as though he is fighting tears. He is beautiful. In so many ways.
“Tuomo.” I whisper his name, and he lets go, dropping his head onto my shoulder. “Everything is going to be ok.” I say, stroking my hand over the back of his head, threading my fingers through his thick, dark hair. I’ve hurt him and my heart is breaking because of it.
He steps away from me and looks right into my eyes. His are dark brown pools of intense emotion. Looking right at him like this makes my heart go cold and the palms of my hands sweat. Fear replaces the heart ache. His jaw is tight, and his lips are pressed together. I no longer want to comfort him I want to run.
“You think everything will be ok?” he asks, but why does it sound like a threat instead of a question. Suddenly, my memory is back in my apartment, the very first time Tuomo showed up after all those years. When he pinned me to the bed, and I thought - I thought - I brush the memory away as my body becomes alive with lust because of it. No. Don’t be ridiculous, Nerissa. Focus. Stay safe. Why do I keep confusing fear and desire?
He has that same anger in his tone, his body language, and his eyes.
“I - I think - we both just need time to think.”
“Time tothink?” he whispers with menace.
I force myself to take a slow breath in. I better think, quickly, if I want to get out of this situation. I glance left and right down the alley he has dragged me into. There isn’t a person in sight.
“What are you looking for, little bird?”
Think, Nerissa, think.
“I was wondering if you have time to go for a coffee with me?”
He tilts his head to the side, narrowing his eyes. “Why?”
“Because this place is not the nicest - venue.” I laugh light-heartedly, trying to change the mood. But my chest is tight with tension. “I don’t want to stop talking to you. So, let’s go for a coffee?” I shrug.
His shoulders drop, and he nods. “Alright. We can carry on talking.” He holds out his hand and I swallow hard as I place my hand against his and he leads me from the alley out into the street. It’s a lot quieter now, and above us the sky is dark. The streetlamps are shining pools of light and warmth spills from shop windows and small cafes along the walkway.
I feel so much better out here in the open, but I am well aware of the reality of the situation I’m in. Tuomo is a Vece. They do what they want - where they want. He could do anything he wanted to me right here in public and very few people would dare to interfere for fear of risking their own lives.
I point at a coffee shop just across the street and he pulls me towards it without a word.
