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My other friends don’t know me like Hayley knows me.
They all think I am a bit bland. I am, I wear neutral colors and always having my hair tied up. I almost never put make-up on.
But I don’t have the right to dress up like the gorgeous girls do. Because I am not gorgeous, or special, or anything but me. It’s just not who I am.
I’m not beautiful - not by the fashion magazine standards. My eyes are still way too big. My lips are puffy like am pouting without even trying. At least my body has filled out as I got older, not so gangly and skinny. God gave me a few curves, but not any idea what to do with them. I blame not having my mom around anymore, there was no one to show me how to go from girl to woman.
I get nervous when boys kiss me. So, I just avoid it. I don’t really date because every guy I fall for seems to just ghost me. And it hurts.Every single timeit hurts. The number one personality trait guys in university possess is, asshole. They are all assholes.
I can’t believe I am going to be twenty-five in a few days.
It’s crazy how the time has flown. Just the other day I was - wow - I kissed that Vece boy. Tuomo. Oh, my word. I’m turning twenty-five.
I giggle, remembering the silly, childish pact we made we would get married. Wow, that really was another life. I haven’t thought about him since the day I left. After my mother died I blocked out the Vece mansion and all the pain it held.
My heart pangs when I think about her.
I was going through so much then. I didn’t have time to think about the people I left there. Tuomo was this guy who chased me, he made my heart race, and it was devious and forbidden.
All I remember now is how incredibly hot he was.
He was the older boy, a forbidden fantasy.
But now I am a lot wiser. I understand the truth about that Vece family and who they truly are. Who Tuomo is. I want nothing to do with them.
I want nothing to do with the mafia.
My brothers are still tied up in that mess and it is not a good life. I can see the struggles they go through. Antonio Vece uses them. He doesn’t care about anyone.
People that rich - all they care about is money and power - not other people.
I am lucky I got out of there when I did. I am lucky I got away from all of them. Especially Tuomo. He’s probably just like his father.
Although, I remember how hot kissing him was.
I laugh as I walk through my tiny bathroom and turn on the shower.
I want to get ready for bed, then I can grab my laptop and start following up with whoever hasn’t RSVP’d for my birthday party. I have saved up for a month to have an amazing night and I want everyone there.
My bathroom fills up with steam. I glance at the window, thinking I should close the blinds, but it’s already so steamed up I can’t even see out of it, so I don’t bother. No one can see in.
I step under the hot flow of water and as it splashes over me, I think about how far I’ve come. It’s been forever since I thought about the Vece mansion.
Losing my mother was more pain than I would wish on my worst enemy. But it was the catalyst I needed to get out of that life and start a new one. I had no choice. They didn’t want me — them sending me away saved me.
And once I was out, I had support of the people I lived with until I moved into this tiny apartment, and started making a better life for myself.
I learned how to be independent, how to be responsible with money, how to take care of myself and save at the same time. Leaving there forced me to grow up.
I am going to do big things. I’ve got massive goals, big dreams, and plans to reach each one.
Graduating in the top five of my year, I was offered a job before I even finished university. Head hunted by a very prestigious law firm. I start in a month. It’s a low-down position, clerical work. But it’s a foot in the door and a chance to be seen and make a name for myself. There’s potential for me to work my way up, and hard work doesn’t scare me.
I’m over the moon excited about it.
I get out of the shower and sigh in annoyance. I left my towel hanging over the back of my bed again.
I run, dripping, through the tiny apartment and grab it, wrapping the fluffy warmth around my body before I wet the entire floor.
