“I’m sorry,” he says.
“I’m more sorry,” I tell him. “But it doesn’t matter. You don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect person for me.”
“But I did fuck up, Anna. I want you to know, I never cared about any other girl. Not Gemma, not anybody. I’ve only ever felt this way about you.”
“I know,” I say. “It’s the same for me.”
“And I don’t care that you slept with Dean, it’s doesn’t matter?—“
“I didn’t,” I interrupt him. “I never slept with Dean. We never actually . . . you know. Went all the way.”
“It’s okay if you did,” Leo says. “I don’t care.”
He thinks I’m trying to spare his feelings.
“I didn’t,” I tell him firmly. “We got close one time, but I couldn’t do it. I was thinking about you.”
Leo is quiet for a moment. A long moment. Then he says, “That’s what happened to me.”
I look at him, at his still and sober expression that I can barely see in the dark infirmary.
“What do you mean?”
“Any time I was about to do it . . . I just . . . couldn’t.”
Now I’m the one frowning in confusion, not understanding him.
“Leo . . . are you trying to tell me you’re a virgin?”
There’s an embarrassed pause and then he says, softly, “Yes.”
I almost want to laugh. That seems impossible, ridiculous even. But I would never laugh at him when I can tell he’s feeling so distinctly uncomfortable.
“How is that possible?” I think of the endless parade of girls who threw themselves at Leo in high school.
“I mean, I fooled around a lot. But when it came time to actually do the deed . . . it just never felt right. It never felt like the right girl. I didn’t want to think about it. I never admitted to myself that the right girl . . . had to be you.”
I think if I could see Leo clearly, he might actually be blushing for the one and only time in his life.
“I felt the same,” I say quietly. “I’m a virgin too.”
“Yeah?” Leo says, and now I hear something else in his voice: deep relief.
It hits me at the exact same moment.
I’m about to have something I never thought I could have.
Leo and I are about to experience sex for the first time together.
28
LEO
Ican’t believe Anna’s a virgin, too.
I really can’t believe it.
My heart is hammering against my chest, and I’m trying not to squeeze her too hard in my arms.