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“No,” I say, embarrassed. “Sorry. I’m just trying to . . . you know. Be a good friend.”
Ares laughs softly, shaking his head at me. “You’re the best friend I’ve got here.”
“Yeah?” I smile. “Alright. I’ll take it down a notch, then.”
I try to buckle down and apply myself to my classwork instead. It’s the only way not to constantly be staring at Anna, who likewise attends most of my classes, usually sitting only a few desks away from me.
Every time she speaks or laughs with any of her other friends—even her female friends like Chay and Zoe—I burn with envy. And when she talks to Dean, I want to set the whole school on fire.
Dean is some kind of dark doppelgänger who managed to switch places with me. Now I know exactly how he felt the first few months of school when it was Anna and me sitting together, Anna and me exchanging glances when the teacher said something amusing, Anna and me casually leaning against each other as we walked across the commons.
He took my place, and now he’s basking in the light of the most beautiful girl in school, and I’m the one locked outside, jealously looking in with my face pressed up against the glass.
On January 17thI call my parents like I do every weekend. My mother picks up the phone on the first ring, sounding uncharacteristically excited.
“Leo!” she says. “How are you?”
“Decent. You know . . . tired, but doing alright.”
“We’ve got something to tell you,” my dad says, his voice tight with anticipation.
“What is it?” My stomach clenches. I’m not really in the mood for a surprise at the moment.
“We’re going to have a baby!” my mom says in a rush. “You’re going to have a sibling!”
“I—how?” I stammer out.
My parents tried for years to have another kid. It never worked—my mom never even got pregnant, let alone carried a baby all the way through.
Now that she’s forty-three, I thought they were long past trying.
“It happened in the usual way,” my dad laughs.
I can tell he’s over the moon, but it’s my mom I’m listening to—her shaky breath, the way she’s trying to hold back tears. She’s wanted this so badly for so long.
And she deserves it. She was the best mother in the world to me. I don’t have the heart to be anything but happy for them. Having recently tasted disappointment myself, I won’t say anything to puncture their excitement.
“Congratulations, Mom. This is such good news.”
“You’re happy, Leo?” she asks me.
“Yes,” I promise. “I can’t wait to meet him.”
That’s not a hundred percent true. I’ve been an only child my whole life—the idea of a sibling at this late date is more bizarre than enticing. Also, having just been cut out of Anna’s life and replaced with Dean, I can’t say it’s pleasant to picture myparents centering their whole lives around some bouncing new baby.
But it’s not my choice. None of these things are my choice.
I’m trying not to be selfish and immature anymore.
I’m going to support my parents and see if I can be a better friend to this kid than I was to Anna.
Three dayslater is Anna’s birthday. I didn’t think to bring a gift to Kingmakers, so I pay the gardener an outrageous sum for a potted orchid and leave it outside her door. I know she’ll know it’s from me even without a card, because orchids are her favorite.
I wouldn’t know what to write in a card. I wouldn’t even know how to sign it. ”Love, Leo” doesn’t seem right anymore.
When I see her in Chemistry class that afternoon, she gives me a small smile but doesn’t mention the gift.
I don’t bring it up, either.
