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I find myself hoping she and Freddy will get along that well. I want to introduce the two of them.
Miles has encouraged me to feel comfortable staying at his place when he's at work, but I've been in the mood to write, and I can't pass that up these days. I’ve been trying to get used to thefact that there are suddenly people who care when another book happens, and it’s unreal. I don’t want to disappoint anyone by dragging my feet.
Sure I could bring my laptop with me sometime, but I weirdly feel like the energy in my apartment has really contributed to my flow.
Everything I had been writing was gloomy, and sad, and I guess that’s a good thing when writing a third act breakup. I did happen to like the direction things were heading in, and it’s nice to finally be in the mood to write a happily ever after.
Things are light enough, hopeful enough, that I've actually beenconsumedby writing this happily ever after.
I physically feel the relief hit my body when Miles' smiling face appears in his front doorway. His joy is contagious as he sweeps me up into a hug. You'd think we had spent much more than twenty-four hours apart.
“Good day?” I ask him.
“It’s always a good day when I get to hang out with those two,” he says, referring to his niece and nephew.
A phone call from Justin interrupted our own this morning, and he needed a babysitter. Miles agreed with no questions asked.
Everyone he loves is so lucky. I already see how much his family asks of him, and he happily helps whenever he can. No complaints.
There are toys on the floor in the living room. Baby dolls, stuffed animals, and what looks to be plastic food. It melts my heart to picture him sitting there, goofing around with them. Serving plastic fruit to two giggling toddlers.
“You love them a lot,” I say with a hint of awe in my voice.
“I do, they’re a blast." He smiles as he begins to pick things up. "You know, if I didn’t enjoy my job so much, I think I’d probably want to be a teacher.”
I could see him doing that, leading a room. With his knack for taking care of people, and how fun he is to be around. A classroom full of kids would absolutely adore him.
“Do you want kids of your own?” I’m not sure why I blurt out the question, but I regret it instantly. This isn’t the most ideal time for this conversation, and the look that flashes on his face tells me he agrees. “Oh, you don’t have to answer that.”
He takes a deep breath, and looks down at his shoes.
“No, it’s okay. It’s just hard to think about sometimes. I definitely did. I mean, I still do. Kara didn’t.” He grimaces, as if saying her name is still hard in itself, let alone remembering that they wanted such different lives. “I told myself that was fine, and I’d just have extra love for my niece and nephew but… I'm running out of time now anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’m going to spoil those two forever.” He’s careful with his words, not putting any pressure on the possibility that he could still be a dad someday.
I put a hand on his shoulder, an attempt to be comforting.
“For what it’s worth, I know you think you’re ancient or something—” he cracks a smile— “but it seems to me like you have plenty of time.”
“I guess I’ll find out, right?”
Our eye contact feels intense.
“Right.”
“What about you?” he asks softly. “Do you want kids someday?”
I nod my head. “I do, but I don’t know. It kind of felt like I was going to run out of time, too.”
He gives me a skeptical look.
“What are you, twenty?” he jokes.
“Basically,” I reply. Although it's always felt like the opposite. Like I’m years and years ahead of where I’m comfortable with. “Not that I’m getting old or anything, but even with all the time in the world it was hard to imagine I’d ever find the right person. It’s easy to decide to do it, but since my parents are so…” I trail off, but he nods in understanding. “I wasn’t going to take that decision lightly.”
“Itwashard to imagine? Easier now?” he asks with a smirk.
My cheeks heat when I realize what I did, speaking in past tense.
“I didn't—”
