AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Calm down. It’s not like that, I’m not rude to her.”
“Could have fooled me.”
He rubs his eyes now, in a tired, sad way, but it doesn’t deter me. He could start crying and I’d still need an explanation.
“Just don’t fucking tell mom, okay?” he asks, way quieter than he was talking before.
“Sure, fine.” I know there are things he’s told me in the past he prefers she doesn’t know. It’s not because he doesn’t trust heror love her. She can just be… judgmental. It even wears on me sometimes, but I know she means well.
“I just don’t want mom to start acting likehermom or something. Autumn doesn’t really have parents, and she struggles with approval and stuff. I just don’t want her to look for it here. The only person I want to share mom with is you.”
I shake my head in confusion. “What would it matter? It doesn’t mean you’d have any less.”
“I don’t know, man. It’s hard to explain. Maybe because dad… I don’t know.” I’m taken aback by his words for a second. We never mention our dad, but I immediately understand what he means. Why he wouldn’t want me to tell mom.
Our dad left when we were both young. I couldn’t have been older than six. All we knew about him for a while was that he had a new wife. When Justin was old enough to understand, I’d decided to try and find him on social media. I wanted my brother to at least know who he was, what he looked like. What I found was a man with a big, happy family. He had three kids with her in six years, and he really loved them from what I could see in photos. Two more boys, and a daughter. Completely replacing us and then some. I tried to keep the full truth from Justin, but he wouldn’t give up until he found out every detail I did. It hit him worse than it did me, even though he never really knew our dad. I tried to imagine how I would feel if I’d never known him. If I never went to the park, or got ice cream, or had a movie night with my father. The memories weren’t very solid, they were only small glimpses of what had been, but they were enough. Enough for me to know that my dad did love me, and there’s no good enough reason for him to have left us.
“You know this isn’t like that, right? Mom isn’t going to replace you with some random girl you bring home.”
“There’s a part of me that knows that. Really. It’s just… she was so nice to her right off the bat. She never talks to me like that.”
“Because you’re not a guest. You eat the food she makes every night without thanking her. You dirty up her house without cleaning up after yourself, or apologizing or anything. You barely talk to her.”
“So I deserve to be replaced?” he asks quietly.
“No! Why would you even say that? Mom doesn’t want to replace you, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t need you to be a little more respectful around here.”
He looks like he’s thinking about my words for a minute before he finally responds.
“Okay.” I know my brother well enough that the word isn't an agreement, more like a way to end the conversation, but I let it go. I got what I needed out of him, which is to understand why.
Epilogue
Eight Months Later
The wedding is chaotic, but I'm not sure what else I expected. When the bride is as much of a perfectionist as she is, there was no other way this could have gone. Everyone is running around the venue like headless chickens, hoping they don't bump into her before the ceremony.
I am one of those chickens.
She couldn't have picked a better place. A wide open, perfectly manicured field with an impressive display of rose bushes. Willow trees are in the perfect place to protect the couple from the sun as they say their vows. With the huge, poofy, princess dress that she's in? That shade is going to do her a favor on this hot summer day.
I'm wearing a silky, strapless little number and I'm still sweating my ass off. Thankfully, the makeup artist worked magic that's keeping my face from melting. Mascara running down my face would not make for very good photos.
I stand in my line, waiting for my cue to walk down the aisle ahead of the bride. Miles is across from me in his own line, but the two people ahead of us are blocking my view of him. I wonder if he's feeling the same way I am, hot and nervous.
I must be so zoned out, picturing him in his tux, that I don't notice as soon as the two people in front of us disappear, and I don't have to picture it anymore. My memory from minutes ago doesn't do him justice. He'll never look better than he does right in front of me.
His face lights up when our eyes lock, and I smile my widest smile.
"You ready?" he mouths to me. I nod, only because I'm ready for anything when it's with him.
We lock arms, and exit the doors that will take us to the stunning display outside. The white chairs, the small stage, and the arch that are all so perfectly matched it's a pleasure to look at. The pink and white flowers, the greenery, it all came together just right. I can only hope that my own, inevitable wedding is half as beautiful.
And only half as crowded, becauseyikes. There are too many people here.
He gives my arm a little squeeze with his own as we approach the point where we separate. I blow him a kiss, and giggle as he catches it.
It feels like the time goes by slower as I stand up there waiting for her to appear. It would be rude to yawn in front of all these people, but I have to really fight a few from happening.
