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The moment is the next picture she looks at, and she smiles.
“That’s a good one.”
I haven’t seen it since that night when I gathered them all, and back then I was trying not to look. I didn’t want proof that there was something between us.
I am so happy to see it now.
“It is.”
“That’s a rare find, someone that can bring that kind of joy out of you. I’m glad you two have that.”
I don’t stop staring at the photo. “So am I.”
She stands from her seat. “I… I really am sorry for everything. I always liked having you around, and that hasn’t changed. You’ve grown into a wonderful woman.”
I nod. “I know how much you love them. I always knew you were doing what you thought was right by them, even if I didn’t understand it.” Even if it was torture.
She nods back to me, a sheen in her eyes that proves just how sorry she feels. I believe her. I believe her more in this moment than I ever have.
“If there’s anything I can do for you, Autumn, please let me know. I understand if you need some time after how I'vebehaved, but I'll be here.” She leaves with that, giving a simple nod as a goodbye.
It feels too good to be true, like I'm not allowed to accept it. I want to, though. If she's being honest, then nothing is left to stop me from having what I want anymore.
Even if she's not, there isn't a single part of me that thinks Miles is something I want rather than something I need.
38
Miles
Late December is the best time of the year. The days are always filled with family. We have dinner together more often, we bake cookies, we get to shop for gifts. Most importantly, I get to watch my niece and nephew make core memories that’ll leave them with this same feeling as an adult.
Even when Kara was around, complaining and trying to avoid it all, it couldn’t take away from it. Nothing could ever ruin the bubble of joy surrounding us.
Not even last year when I confessed that Kara wasn’t living with me anymore. There were a few uncomfortable minutes, and I let them think whatever they needed to. My mom abruptly stood and walked into the kitchen, and she came back with a bottle of sparkling wine. We toasted to having an extra piece of pie to fight over after Christmas dinner.
This year is different. Isabelle took their kids to her parents house a couple hours away. They’ve been gone for two days, and Justin is losing it. He’s used to having them here with us, and Isuppose that’s also why he couldn’t argue about it. We’ve always had them for the holidays.
I see how much it’s devastating him, and we feel it half as bad. The days leading up to it haven’t been the same without them. The house is too quiet, even with Christmas music playing around the clock.
Easing the pain of it slightly, is Autumn. She's still working up the courage to be a part of the festivities with my family, but I know it'll happen. I’m happy to let her take her time. My mom bought her a present and stuck it under the tree, just in case tomorrow's the day.
I can tell my mother is working on her overstepping with Justin. She stayed quiet about it for a grand total of twenty minutes today before she couldn’t take it anymore. It wasn’t my conversation to be in, and I hurriedly finished my plate and left them to talk it out. I care about my brother, but there are some things a grown man doesn’t feel comfortable doing in front of anyone but his mother.
Like crying. I knew with one glance that he was going to. Neither of them protested when I headed home earlier than normal for a Christmas Eve.
I’m sitting in my car, staring out at the shimmering white of my front yard. There hasn’t been any snow for the last few days, but the way everything is currently frozen over gives the illusion of it. I think I even prefer it, despite the fact that I have to try extra hard to keep myself from slipping and falling onto my ass. The camera on my doorbell had caught a couple too many times of me doing exactly that.
A shadow in the corner of my eye snaps me out of my zoning out, and I look over to see the silhouette of a person sitting in the swing on my front porch. I have a motion sensor light, so they had been there since before I pulled up. I’m already sure I knowwho it is as I hurriedly shut my car off and jump out of it, not thinking for a second about anything but her.
My eagerness bites me in the ass, literally, as I immediately slip on the slick driveaway. The angle at which my ankle twists sends a shooting pain up my entire leg.
Autumn
“Miles!” I yell as I rush towards him.
It only took me two seconds to get myself in check and not laugh, especially when I saw the direction his foot went. I’m fairly positive feet aren't supposed to do that.
“Careful, it’s slippery,” he hisses through gritted teeth and I noticeably slow my steps.
