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My throat grows tight, and after instructing Junie to thank Mr. Reid—“Thanks, Misery!” she says, to a chorus of laughter from my family—I excuse myself for a moment.
To catch my breath.
To calm my heart.
To still my shaking hands.
Only then do I return to my family, a smile on my face as we all head back out onto the deck to hang out until the fireworks start. After a while, we take chairs down to the water, lining them up in a row facing south, towards where the motorized dock is floating. I have Briar on one side and Reid on the other, Junie in my lap, and it’ssomuch better than last year. So, so much better.
At nine sharp, the fireworks begin. Junie oohs and aahs and claps her hands, her little face lit up and her eyes huge as she watches explosions fill the sky.
I can’t help but watch Reid, too. The way the reds and blues and whites pop color on his face, his head tilted back, that perpetual stubble in ever deeper shadow tonight. His friendship has become so important to me since I moved home, but I would be lying if I kept trying to deny that there isn’t more to how I feel about him. From the moment he caught me trying to break into his house, my heart has thumped an uneven rhythm. Tonight, that beating has grown louder, harder to ignore, and has rattled something free within my chest that I didn’t know was there.
Love.
Not lust, the way I’ve felt about other boys in the past, where it’s all butterflies in your stomach and a tingling under your skin, but love. The kind of devotion you read about, the kind that happens to other people, but never to you.
Maybe…maybe thereisroom in my life for a forever kind of love. Something profound and unexpected and…fulfilling in a way I didn’t know love could be.
In the past, the only kind of love I had experienced was the selfish kind, the kind that was about what you could get, not what you can give, and that was enough.
Until it wasn’t.
Now, I can’t imagine ever giving those boys a second look when I know there are men like Reid, though that thought has me shaking my head. There are no other men like Reid Cohen. I’m sure of it. He stands apart. Strong, sturdy, steadfast.
As the fireworks show rises into its climactic finish, Reid looks my way, his eyes bright and his expression easy. He’s not smiling, but I can see that dimple on the left side of his face that tells me he’s happy.
And then he looks at me, too.
For a long moment, we just stare at each other, as the last of the fireworks pop off in the sky. He searches my face, though I’m not sure what he’s looking for, then opens his mouth, like he’s going to say something. I wait with bated breath, desperate to know what’s on his mind, wondering if his thoughts might mirror my own.
But then the sky goes dark, the show concluding, and Reid looks away as my family begins to applaud. We can hear cheers from neighboring homes, other families and friends gathered on docks and in back yards to watch the spectacle as well.
Just like that, the moment—whatever that moment was—is lost.
I pull to a stop on the parking pad outside my cabin and sit there for a moment, leaning my head back against the headrest, my eyes closed.
What a night that was.
I’m pretty sureunicornis going to be Junie’s entire personality for the foreseeable future. She still had glitter on herface as I carried her upstairs to put her to bed in my childhood bedroom, and she didn’t stir at all as I got her tucked in.
She had way too much sugar today and was bouncing all over the place…up until she crashed almost the minute after the fireworks show ended. Mom suggested setting her up in my old room for the night, since I have to be at the store bright and early—day two!—and it didn’t make sense to take Junie home, waking her up, disrupting her sleep, and then bring her right back at six in the morning tomorrow.
I hope Junie gets some good sleep, because I’m not sure I will. It’s my first night away from my baby—ever—and I’m not exactly sure how I feel about it. Before my mind can wander too much, a pair of headlights flash as they turn the corner behind me and begin to pull down the lane toward the cabins.
Reid.
He left only a few minutes after I did, offering to load the rocking horse back up in his truck to bring home because I have a bunch of shit in the back of my SUV for the bookstore. I shut off my engine and step out, stretching slightly before I head over to where he’s coming to a stop.
“Thanks again for bringing this home for me,” I say as he opens up the back seat and tugs out the rocking horse.
“No problem. Originally, I planned to just give it to her here, which probably would have been easier but a whole lot less fun.”
Junielovedher gift from ‘Misery.’ He was right…itisa bit too big for her, but it’s going to be an amazing toy for her to enjoy for a few years.
I grab one end, prepared to help Reid carry it inside, but he shakes his head. “I got it.” Then he hoists it over one shoulder and begins walking, leaving me to admire his muscles as he goes, his strong, broad shoulders and the biceps that flex with the effort.
As he sets the rocking horse down in Junie’s room, my mind scrambles, searching for something to say. I’m not ready for him to go yet.
