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“I’ll think about it,” I finally tell her, though I roll my eyes when I see the hint of satisfaction that comes across her face.
We chat a bit more about the cabin and Junie before moving on to things that have changed around town over the past few years since I’ve been gone. Eventually we chuck our trash and head back to the bookstore. It’s a casual lunch with my sister, and I can’t help the ember of happiness that settles in my chest at the knowledge that we’ll get to do this kind of thing on a regular basis. Maybe with Bellamy, too.
There’s something about spending time with your siblings as adults that’s just…different than what it was like when you were a kid. It’s like you get to know them in an entirely new way, and I’m looking forward to seeing how my relationships with my sisters will change now that I’m home.
“There she is!”
Junie is plucked from my arms the second I cross the threshold into my childhood home, my mother barely even looking at me, too absorbed with seeing her granddaughter as if they didn’t just see each other yesterday.
I share a look with my dad, who opens his arms and pulls me into a big hug. “Hey, Little Bee.”
“Think she noticed I’m here?”
He gives me a squeeze then pulls back, holding each of my biceps. “Probably not.”
I roll my eyes as he closes the door behind me, but I can’t help the tiny bit of sting at his comment. Sure,hewasn’t serious. ButIwas.
I’ve seen my mom only a handful of times since Junie was born, and she’s always so focused on my daughter she seems to forget she has herowndaughter who wants some attention, too.Then again, I’ve always dealt with feeling a bit forgotten, so I guess it isn’t anything new.
“How’s the cabin working out?”
My movements are slow as we make our way through the entry toward the living room. I can hear everyone in there, commenting on how much Junie has grown, and I can’t help wanting just another minute or two before I join them.
“It’s great,” I tell him, not wanting to give him the same honesty I gave Briar earlier this week over lunch.
If I tellhimI’m living out of suitcases, he’ll show up with a trailer full of furniture tomorrow and I’ll be forced to accept it all. I might be able to rebuff my mom when she makes demands, but I’ve always been a daddy’s girl.
What Icando is tell him how wonderful the cabin is, especially because I know he took the time to find somewhere great for Junie and me to live.
“The spot is so perfect and it’s quiet, which is a nice change from the apartment we used to have near campus.” I shrug a shoulder. “My neighbor seems really nice.”
“Good.”
I nod, unsure why I brought Reid up at all. I’ve seen him a few times this week, usually hanging out on his patio with his dog. He always gives me a friendly wave and chats with Junie for a few minutes. It’s really sweet, actually. And JunielovesSydney.
“It’s Reid Cohen,” I continue. “My neighbor.”
Dad smiles. “Oh, that’s great. He’s a nice kid.”
We stop at the threshold to the living room, watching as everyone coos over Junie.
“Shame about him and Sarah.”
I nod at that too, though about a million questions sprout up. I heard about Reid and Sarah’s divorce through the grapevine when it happened a few years ago. There was a time when Ikneweverythingthat was going on in this town even though I lived over 400 miles away. Then I found out I was pregnant and promptly checked out of Cedar Point gossip.
Before I can ask my dad anything about it, he speaks again.
“Have you gone over to say hi to Don and Margie yet?” he asks, bringing up their best friends, Sherriff Perry and his wife. “I know they’re excited to have you back in town.”
“Not yet. Still just trying to get settled, you know?”
He nods, and then I follow my dad into the living room, my eyes tracking over where everyone is scattered on the couch, chatting animatedly and fawning over Junie. It’s been over a week since I moved home, but it’s the first night everyone has been free for a family dinner. Briar is here with her husband, Andy, and Bellamy with her boyfriend, Rusty. Plus mom and dad, and now me and Junie Bee.
Having a big family feels chaotic more than it doesn’t, but it’s also familiar, and my nerves and slightly standoffish attitude fall by the wayside as I’m enveloped in hug after hug and answer questions about the move and being back in town. Being back here feels like putting on a comfortable pair of shoes that had been forgotten in the closet, and I sink right in, chatting away with Bellamy and laughing at dad’s stupid jokes.
But there’s something in the back of my mind that lingers, a feeling I’ve long tried to get rid of but continue to struggle with, no matter how much I try to ignore it. I glance around the table, at my siblings and their partners, at my parents, and I’m reminded of the fact that I’ve always,alwaysfelt on the outside of my family. Sure, I know they love me. That has never been in question. But I’ve never really felt…connected the way I think the rest of them do.
I was a bit closer with Bellamy and Bishop, but they’re twins. They had a special relationship no one else could touch. It always felt like everyone in my family had a partner in crime,and I was left to fend for myself. Mom had dad. Boyd had Briar. Bishop had Bellamy.
