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I thought...I thought we had a connection. That maybe, just maybe, he could come to care for me the way I'm starting to care for him, despite my best intentions.
But apparently I'm a fool. A naive little girl with her head in the clouds, chasing dreams that will never come true.
Shame and embarrassment choke me. I never should have come here. Never should have signed up for that ridiculous mail-order bride service. What was I thinking?
That a rough, rugged cowboy like Colton could ever truly want a soft, inexperienced thing like me? I press my face into my hands, shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
I should leave. First thing in the morning, I should pack my meager belongings and go. Spare us both any further humiliation. He's made it clear he doesn't want me here, doesn't wantme. Staying will only lead to more heartache.
But where would I go? I have nothing and no one to return to. This ranch, this marriage...it was my last hope. Without it, I'm lost. Adrift.
Alone.
The thought sends a fresh wave of despair crashing over me. I curl into myself tighter, trying to hold the broken pieces of my heart together.
six
?. . .?
Sam
The morning suncasts long shadows across the ranch as I make my way to the stables, my boots crunching on the gravel path. A gentle breeze carries the scent of hay and leather, mingling with the earthy aroma of the horses. I focus on the tasks at hand, determined to keep my mind off Colton and the confusing emotions swirling within me.
As I brush down Midnight, Colton's favorite mare, I hear footsteps approaching. My heart quickens, knowing it's him before I even turn around. I keep my eyes on the horse, my hands moving in rhythmic strokes.
"Mornin' Sam," Colton says, his deep voice sending a shiver down my spine. "You're up early."
I nod, not trusting myself to speak. His presence is overwhelming, filling the stable with a tension that's both thrilling and terrifying. I can feel his gaze on me, intense and unwavering.
Colton moves closer, reaching out to stroke Midnight's muzzle. His hand brushes against mine, and I jerk away as if burned. He frowns, his blue eyes clouding with confusion and hurt.
"Sam, I..." He starts, then falters. "I'm sorry for pushin' you away. It's not what I want, but I'm scared of lettin' you down."
I turn to face him, my heart hammering in my chest. His rugged features are softened by vulnerability, and I ache to reach out and comfort him. But I keep my arms at my sides, my guard firmly in place.
"I understand, Colton," I say softly. "You have a lot on your plate. I don't want to be a burden."
He shakes his head vehemently. "You could never be a burden, darlin'. The truth is, I'm…I’m fallin' for you, hard and fast. And it terrifies me. Because I don’t think you understand…I’m fucking obsessed with you. If we ever become man and wife in every sense of the word, I won’t be able to control myself. You’ll be mine. Do you understand what I’m saying to you, honey?"
My breath catches in my throat, his words hanging in the air between us. The admission is both exhilarating and daunting, a promise of something beautiful and dangerous.
Colton takes a step closer, his hand cupping my cheek. His touch is rough and gentle all at once, igniting a fire within me that threatens to consume us both.
"I want to be with you, Sam," he whispers, his breath hot against my skin. "But I need to know if you feel the same. Heaven knows I ain’t ever gonna be good enough for you. A washed-up old cowboy like me. And I feel like I’m a selfish asshole for even expecting a beautiful thing like you to tie yourself to me, but fuck, I want you to.”
I frown at his words. He acts like he’s eighty. He’s only thirty-five, and I’m twenty. He’s notthatmuch older than me.
Colton clears his throat and speaks roughly, “The ball's in your court now, honey."
I stare into his eyes, searching for the truth behind his words. The intensity of his gaze is overwhelming, a silent plea for understanding and acceptance.
The dying sunlight paints the ranch in ethereal shades of gold and orange as I stand before Colton, my heart beating an unsteady rhythm. His rugged features soften, those piercing blue eyes capturing mine with an intensity that both thrills and terrifies me.
"Colton, I..." My voice wavers, the words catching in my throat. "It's just hard for me to believe that someone like you could want someone like me."
His brows furrow, a hint of confusion clouding his gaze. "What do you mean?"
I avert my eyes, suddenly finding the worn floorboards beneath my feet utterly fascinating. "Look at me. I'm not exactly the type of woman men like you usually go for." My hands nervously smooth over my curves, accentuating the very insecurities that plague my thoughts.
