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Road shook his head. “You know, I thought I had known real pain with what happened. Being held down, cut, and knowing they were doing it on purpose. That I was being tortured because of all I knew, and he decided I had outgrown my use to him.” He pressed his lips together. “Mine was looks and the memories of who I once was, but I don’t like that man anymore. That man thought he was important. He thought he was serving a higher cause. There are bad men throughout the world, Dinah, and they all find a way to do bad shit. I thought Sergey was different. He wasn’t. He was a better kind of monster, who had a way of inspiring the men who worked for him. This is not pain. This is not nothing. I’m healthy, I’m living, but real pain was seeing the look in your eyes when I told you what I’d done. Pain is getting the call and hearing you scream. I’d go through this every single day, to take away every moment of your pain. Your tears are what I fear the most.”
“Road?”
“I didn’t know what love was, because love was just a fancy word for fucking. Men and women say it all the time to dress up the fact they want to fuck. They want to have sex, but it means nothing. It is nothing.” He looked down at his beer bottle. “At least that’s what I thought it was, then I met you. At first, I thought Sergey was sending a rat into the nest, and then I saw you were not a rat, you’re an angel.”
“Road, I’m not an angel.”
“You’re my angel, because you have made me see clearly how fucked up I am. That I’ve gotten it wrong. I’m not asking you for your forgiveness, Dinah. I don’t deserve it. I will never be good enough for you. All I ask is that you allow me to help you live as good a life as any. I can’t give you your freedom. Sergey will take it at the first opportunity, but I can make your life good.” He would do anything for her. “And I’m not lying, I’m not reacting, I’m simply stating a fact when I say this. I love you.”
Chapter Fifteen
One Month Later
Dinah didn’t need a pregnancy test or to see the doctor. The tight pants and bra were a clear indication of the fact she was pregnant, and so far she’d been able to hide it. She didn’t even know why she was hiding it, but things between her and Road were going well. Better than well. They were fantastic.
She knew she didn’t hate him. How could she hate a man who had been nothing but kind to her, who was her best friend, and who spent every waking moment trying to make her happy?
Her equipment had been set up outside in one of the many sheds the Evil Fallen Bratva MC had created. Not only had everything been set up, the roof had been fixed, and the guys had worked together to make it into her own personal salon, which she loved. Several of the club women had gone to her to get their hair done. Brute had even allowed her to order products, and to make this salon her own.
It wasn’t perfect, but at the same time, it was everything she had ever wanted. There was no back biting, not from other hairdressers, and she got to see one woman at a time. She was able to work in peace and quiet. Sometimes she also got to have some girl talk, which she loved.
Faith was her first customer, and then the women of the club, followed by a few of the men. The men were a new experience, but they wanted their hair looking good. She did do male haircuts back at her old salon, but they were very few and far between. This time, the whole club wanted them, and that was a lot of haircuts. She also felt like the men had a little respect for her. Each one had asked how she attacked Sergey. She truly did believe it helped them to like her, and every man had offered their protection.
They also liked to gossip. She had a feeling they gossipedway more than the women. She did have to wonder if she’d be able to offer her services to the public, as it wouldn’t be long before she’d have to wait to cut other people’s hair.
There was a knock at the door, and she laughed, telling whoever it was to come in.
She turned to see Road entering her little salon. Faith had insisted on her putting up a sign, calling it Dinah’s Salon. It seemed silly, but Faith had also promised to talk to Brute about allowing more people to visit. Dinah wasn’t hopeful but she did find it sweet that her friend wanted to take care of her.
“Hey,” Dinah said.
“Hey.”
“How are you?” she asked.
She knew he had to go out and run some errands for the club the past couple of nights, so she had not seen him. Dinah kept to her room, taking her meals alone. She didn’t feel it was her right to spend time with the club. Tank was the only one who seemed determined to spend lunch with her, and was always there, carrying two trays of food. She did like hanging out with him.
He talked about everything and nothing, and she got the feeling he needed to be around her at this moment. She must provide him a distraction from everything going on in his life.
“I’m good, you?”
She chuckled. “Yeah, I’m good. Today was a slow day, but Faith said she was going to talk to Brute about possibly letting me advertise in the local paper or something. Maybe do some bookings.”
“He’ll let it happen,” he said.
“You think he will?”
“If Faith is asking him, you’ll get what you want.”
She chuckled. “You think he will cave that quickly to his wife?”
“Faith is his wife, and she holds his emotions in the palm of her hand. Trust me, we all rely on Faith to keep Brute happy, otherwise, he takes the word ‘bastard’ to a whole new level.”
“Thanks for the warning,” Dinah said.
“Anytime.”
She looked at him and she had this odd feeling that she just wanted to go up to him and hug him, but she held herself back.
