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I sucked in a long breath. “It’s okay. I feel stupid because I worked so hard to build this tradition for us. To make a home. To have a community. To have this for my son and for me and for Peter. But he didn’t care. Of course, he blamed the whole divorce on me being gone so much that past year. Being with my mother. Later, I discovered he had countless affairs. So many women came out and told me. I found emails. It was just a crap show.”
“What?”
“I look back now, and I realize that he was right. We had grown apart. I had just been so committed to my vows that the thought of having an affair honestly never crossed my mind. I wouldn’t do that.”
“Of course you wouldn’t.”
“Not that I’m a saint. I just felt so stupid and naïve when it all happened. It was like a punch to the gut. You probably don’t want to hear this. How stupid I was.” All the sadness was suddenly replaced with bitterness.
“That is infuriating. Seriously, it just sucks.”
I couldn’t quit talking. “And the dumb thing is that I’m still waiting for him to send me half of his 401(k) so I can pay the billsfor the stupid doll shop. I should just sell the place and move into my mother’s house.”
“Why don’t you?”
I sighed and felt another round of tears coming. “I can’t. It’s like if I do, somehow, I will be admitting that she’s gone. When I say it out loud, it sounds stupid.”
“It’s not stupid.”
“Charles, you should get away from me now, while you still can. I’m broken.” I let out another sob. “I’m sorry. I have to go.” I hung up on him.
I stared at the phone in my hand and broke down completely. Maybe this was the first real break I’d had. Before this, I’d just been trying to keep it all together, do the next thing. Keep it together for Will, for myself, for … I didn’t know.
I didn’t know how long I’d been crying when I heard banging on the back door. My phone buzzed with a text from Charles.Please let me in.
I checked the time; it was almost two in the morning. I cursed and threw the covers back, growling to myself. This man would not be deterred. I trudged down the stairs and flung the door open.
Chapter Twenty
Charles
Melody’s hair was ratted, and her eyes were puffy. She wore a plain red nightgown that was long enough to reach her feet, but somehow it seemed elegant on her. I didn’t know what I was doing. Frankly, I acted on impulse. I scooped her into my arms and held her against me.
“Charles,” she murmured.
“Shh. Shh. It’s okay.”
Her body gave way, and she slumped against me.
I couldn’t lie; there was some primal part of me that loved how much she needed me in this moment. There was another part of me that wanted to ram my fist into Peter’s face. I had to push that away right now. I swept her up and carried her up the stairs.
With each step, more old memories rushed over me. I had spent a lot of nights in this little apartment growing up, playing Scrabble or Monopoly or a million board games. The funny part was that my brothers usually came too, and we would be huddled around the little table in the living room. Her mother would buy us pizza and soda pop, and we would laugh and argue over the games.
I put her down on the bed, and she pulled me down to her. “Just hold me.”
There was no other place I would rather be. I held her and let her cry. I wanted to soothe her. For a long time, she just held onto me, and I rubbed little circles into her back. “It’s okay,” I said, over and over. “It’s okay.”
At some point, she fell asleep. I did the gentlemanly thing: I tucked the blankets around her, and then I found a throw blanket on a chair next to the bed, wrapped myself in it, and snuggled against her. I relished the opportunity to be with this woman after all these years. I could hardly believe this was not a dream. Maybe second chances could happen. Maybe Grandmother was right. Maybe God’s timing and a bit of Christmas magic could cure most anything.
The next day, I woke, and she was still in my arms. Her face was streaked with black makeup. She was tucked into my shoulder, and protectiveness surged in me like a tidal wave.
Once, before my parents passed away, we had come to Jewel Cove and Grandmother had kept bunnies. I’d loved those bunnies so much. One of the bunnies had gotten sick. It’d troubled me so much that I’d taken that bunny and fallen asleep with it in my bed. When I woke up the next day, the bunny was trying to get free and hop around. My brothers had teased me about that bunny for so long, but my grandmother had loved how much I had tried to care for it.
I hadn’t thought of that in a long time. It was nice to think of that story. It was even nicer to have Mel in my arms. I loved looking at her face right now, relaxed in sleep, without wondering what she was thinking or if I was doing the right thing.
On the bedside table, a neon clock read seven-thirty, so this was sleeping late for me. Usually, I was up by six-thirty or seven and working out. Today it was worth skipping the workout.If only I could grab my phone and order something through Uber Eats—chocolate muffins and hot chocolate or coffee—but I didn’t want to wake her up.
I didn’t have to wait long before she stirred. Then her eyes flew open, and she stared at me like I had broken into the apartment. She pushed me away, yanked back the covers, and stood, running a hand through her hair. “Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.”
