AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My mother turned back to me. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but I wanted there to be the right pictures in the house. Before I … left.”
She meant … before she killed herself. I stumbled back.
Noah put a hand on my shoulder.
My mom sniffed. “At the last minute, I stopped by the house. I had to have these with me. I needed my family with me.” She turned to Noah and shrugged. “You’ll find the power is out again.”
My voice was stuck in my throat. This moment was like a scene from a movie; it couldn’t be real.
“I decided I wanted to die with those pictures today. Well, I thought I wanted to die. But I was out on those rocks long enough to do some reflecting.”
Tearfully, I realized that she’d wanted to die the same way Greg had died. The way I’d almost died. I was so angry and hurt and confused. I wanted to yell at her, but my voice wouldn’t work.
My mom shook her head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Obviously, I can’t even go through with killing myself. I didn’t know what to do. What to say.”
“You could’ve said you’re sorry.” The words burst out of me. “You could have been brave enough to come to me and tell me you’re sorry.” All those years of therapy were finally breaking through. For so long, I’d secretly wished for the chance to say this to my mother. “You could’ve come to me.” My voice broke, leaving me feeling small and miserable.
She shook her head. “I couldn’t. I was so ashamed. I’m sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”
I stared down at this pathetic person before shuffling off to stare out the window. If only I could be better than this. I didn’t know what she needed or whether I should offer her anything.
My mom cried for a long time, and gradually my thoughts turned from anger to pain as I remembered my brother.
Then another feeling came over me. It was the same one I’d felt when Noah’s dad led us in prayer at the lookout.
The Holy Spirit.
I started crying. My brother was here, trying to show me I needed to forgive my mother.
I turned to her and opened my arms. “It’s okay. It’s okay. I forgive you.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Noah
Ella and her mother talked for a long time, until the doctor eventually came in and said we needed to go. I wasn’t surprised that my whole family was in the waiting room, and I also wasn’t surprised that they were waiting with food.
After we went back to her house, I held her until she fell asleep, and then I got into my makeshift bed. I was still trying to process everything that had happened today. It was overwhelming, but everything fit together. Her mother had never been great at parenting, and then she’d lost a child and never dealt with it.
I was so thankful I had been able to help her off that mountain today. I was so grateful that I was back in Ella’s life. I couldn’t help but think about all the tender mercies and how God truly had His hand in all of this.
God’s timing. Warm chills rushed through me.
I wasn’t sure how long I spent just thinking about the day. Eventually, I fell asleep listening to Ella’s soft breathing and imagining a future with her.
The next morning, I woke to a kiss on my cheek and Ella next to me. “I know you need sleep, but it’s almost ten in the morningand I have to tell you that I love you. Thank you for being here for me.”
Instantly, I was awake, and I wrapped my arms around her, relishing the fact that she was here, beside me.
She snuggled into me. “You know how I told you I wanted to wait to get married?”
I sat up, putting my elbow beneath me. “Yes.”
She grinned up at me. “What if we speed things up? Noah, will you …”
I cut her off and jumped to my feet. “Oh no, you don’t. You don’t say those words. No, no, no.”
She got on her knees and giggled. “What is wrong with you?”
