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He needed to move, now, before he did something reckless. ‘I reckon we should retire to the lounge room.’
‘Sounds like a plan, Savage.’ As she disappeared down the hallway, he followed her.
They sat down on the couch, and he took a deep breath. He couldn’t help but feel a sense of comfort and contentment sitting here with her, relaxing the night away while listening to music, even if it was just as friends. Eventually, as the night wore on, Jess snuggled up to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He could feel her breaths coming slow and steady, and not long after he knew that she’d fallen asleep. He draped an arm around her, pulling her closer to him, feeling at peace for the first time in a long time. He wouldn’t trade this moment for anything in the world.
* * *
Jess had woken in the middle of the night, wrapped in Morgan’s arms, as he stirred to the brightness of the lights that had just come back on with the power. A little uncomfortable with their intimate closeness, she’d quickly untangled, and he’d done the same, sliding a little down the couch, giving her a few inches of space. Then they’d bid each other goodnight, stood, and wandered up the stairs, each going in their opposite directions. But as she’d slid into bed, she’d felt lost and alone without him to go back to sleep with. It was a sensation that she still carried with her hours later, one that made her feel heavy-hearted in knowing their time had been and gone, that they could never again be as one. Add in the longing to hold her daughter in her arms, and she could’ve almost just broken down and wept herself into tomorrow.
But she couldn’t crumble, not when today was all about joy.
Mentally slapping herself back to the present moment, she offered Shanti a smile as they stepped out of her car. The sleepy little town she’d grown up in had boomed. Cafés rubbed shoulders with clothing shops. A busload of tourists was alighting. A group of mothers pushing strollers and dressed in activewear rushed past her. Mornings seemed to be when everyone came out of their hiding places. As had she. Without breakfast. It was almost nine-thirty now, and her stomach growled in protest. She could almost hear the bacon sizzling and the thought of hot buttery sourdough toast with fried eggs and grilled tomato had her mouth salivating. As did the idea of a coffee fix.
Stepping into Shanti’s favourite foodie haunt, she glanced around the boho-themed space. With golden sunlight streaming through the floor-to-ceiling windows, colourful paintings on the walls, and a vase of bright flowers on each mosaic table, the little café was delightful. Freshly baked goodies lined the shelves of the display fridge, and the scent of hot food wafted from the kitchen. Even though she’d been dreaming of a savoury breakfast since leaving the florist, her gaze was drawn like a magnet to the pretty fairy cupcakes, the fresh cream topping each one sprinkled with just the right number of hundreds and thousands.
Shanti followed Jess’s gaze and chuckled. ‘Go on, my darling friend, you know you want to.’
‘Oh yes I do.’ Jess grinned. ‘Bugger the bacon and eggs.’
As Shanti ordered a cupcake for Jess, and one of the same for herself, along with two mochas, Jess’s mind wandered back to the previous night. She couldn’t shake off the sensation of being held in Morgan’s arms. She hadn’t experienced feeling so safe, and so loved, especially by a man she was interested in, in a very long time. Probably since she was loved-up with him, all those years ago. And boy oh boy, had she missed it. Missed him.
Her hands full of treats, Shanti nudged her. ‘Come on, Jess, pick a table.’
She pointed. ‘That one looks perfect.’
They each took a seat and the cosy atmosphere snuck up and enveloped her. The way the sweet delight was decorated made her feel like it was okay to let go, live in the moment and indulge her senses. And as she bit into the cupcake, she closed her eyes and savoured the taste. It was so delicious that she couldn’t help but moan in pleasure. Shanti chuckled and she blushed at the sound of her wantonness. Still smiling, she wrapped her hands around the mug of mocha and grinned at the mound of whipped cream.
As she took a sip, the sweet warmth offered her solace. Shanti did the same, offering her a creamy-moustached grin. Jess followed suit, and together they giggled as if they were teenagers again, getting high as kites on sugar.
With everything demolished, Shanti looked at her watch. ‘Well, my darling friend, it’s now time for us to go and get pampered.’ She stood and hooked her arm into Jess’s. ‘Pedicures and manicures, here we come.’
Twenty minutes later, seated in a vibrating chair, with both her feet dangling in the warm water, Jess did her very best to offer Shanti a peachy-perfect, I’m-all-good smile, when all the while, enduring a sugar plummet, all she could think of was how much she missed Morgan.
‘So, tell me,’ Shanti said, regarding her shrewdly. ‘How are things going with your flatmate?’
‘Morgan?’ Jess felt her cheeks heat up at the mere mention of his name. ‘We’re just friends,’ she said, rolling her eyes at Shanti’s face while trying to sound casual. ‘And it’s never going to be any more than that.’
‘Are you sure about that?’ Shanti raised an eyebrow. ‘Because from where I’m sitting, I beg to differ.’
Jess’s heart jolted. Was it that blatantly obvious, how she felt about him? Shifting in her seat, she tried to keep her composure, but Shanti’s knowing gaze was making it difficult. ‘I have no idea what you’re on about,’ she stated, feigning ignorance.
Shanti leant in closer, her voice low and confidential. ‘Jessica Sabatini, it’s written all over your pretty face. The way you talk about him, the way you look at him, the way you light up whenever he’s around. It’s very clear to me that you’re still very much in love with him.’
Jess’s heart felt like it was about to burst out of her chest. She’d tried so hard to deny her feelings for him, to push them aside and pretend that they weren’t there. But hearing Shanti say it out loud made it all too real.
‘I am not still in love with him.’ She pronounced each word carefully, hoping it sounded convincing.
Shanti offered an I’m-not-buying-it face. ‘You might live thousands of miles away from me, but I still know you inside out, so when are you going to admit you still have the feels for him, Jess?’
Jess slid her friend a don’t-go-there look. ‘Never, because I don’t.’
Shanti laughed. ‘Oh yes you do!’
Despite her best efforts, Jess’s heart gave a little relieved sigh. ‘Okay, all right.’ Groaning, she took a breath, and huffed it away. ‘If you really need to know, I do still care very much for him.’
Shanti’s smile filled with tender warmth. ‘Love him, you mean to say.’
As the vice around her heart tightened, Jess nodded and sniffled as she swiped the sudden tears away. ‘I’m such a sook.’
