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‘Thanks, Jess, it means a lot that you think so.’
She offered a small, sideways smile. ‘You’re very welcome.’
He caught the flash of heartbreak in her eyes before she dropped her gaze and veiled it with her lashes. There was a lot of water beneath the bridge, but by god he still cared, he still wanted to help her, he still l—
Don’t go there, Savage …
‘Is everything okay, Jess?’
Damn it, you just can’t help yourself when it comes to her!
‘Yes, and no.’ She laced her fingers around her drawn-in knees, her bangles jingling as she hugged her legs to her chest. ‘But isn’t it like that for everyone?’ His shoulders lifted in a tiny shrug. ‘I mean, nobody’s life is perfect, hey.’
‘Yes, and no.’ What else was he meant to say? ‘Just so you know, I’m here, anytime, if you want to talk about anything.’
It seemed like she almost did, but then her lips pressed together, like she was clamping down on the secrets he was dying to coax from her, even though he knew he shouldn’t.
‘Sorry, I shouldn’t be prying.’ He had a sense he should leave her be, as most men likely would, but he couldn’t leave her alone to deal with whatever was weighing on her beautiful heart.
‘Don’t apologise.’ The shadows beneath her eyes seemed to darken, and he saw secrets hidden within her forest-green eyes. ‘There’s just some things I’d rather not talk about.’
‘Yeah, I get that.’ His heart was beating so damn hard, he swore she’d be able to hear it. ‘I really do.’ Suspended in time, old feelings rose up as they stared at each other for a long, breathless moment.
* * *
Caught up in all that made Morgan the wonderful man he was, Jess was experiencing all the feels. Fear, longing, uncertainty, closeness, security, vulnerability, and god forbid, love. With her eyes seized by his, and with everything around her stilled, hushed, she briefly considered what would happen if they gave in to whatever this was still between them, and kissed. And with the contemplation her cheeks heated, as did her heart. Then reality hit her smack bang in the chest. What was she doing? She wasn’t some loved-up young woman anymore. First and foremost, she was a mum. She didn’t have the liberty to throw caution to the wind. And she most certainly didn’t have the right to live dangerously. But damn, the pull between them was palpable. The air felt charged, electric, and she couldn’t deny the way her heart raced as he looked at her with those piercing blue eyes. She knew she should stop this before it went too far, before she lost herself in him all over again. But she couldn’t bring herself to move, couldn’t pull her gaze away from his.
He shifted ever so slightly, and their legs brushed together. It was then that she felt his warmth seep into her. Electricity buzzed around them like flittering fireflies. Her heart raced in her chest. She knew she should look away, but she couldn’t. She wanted to kiss him, to feel his lips on hers again. It only felt like yesterday that they’d thrown all caution to the wind, only days before their wedding day, and made the most beautiful of love. And she missed the way his hands felt on her body and the way his voice sent shivers down her spine. She missed the way he made her feel so effortlessly loved, in every single way. But no matter how much she wanted this, wanted him, she couldn’t give in. So she looked away, far, far away, so he couldn’t read her mind, or feel her racing heart.
Swallowing the lump of emotion from her throat, she mentally slapped herself. She, they, didn’t need to complicate things. She wasn’t going to let whatever this was she was feeling ruin what had developed into a wonderful night. Essentially, besides the fact that they’d almost married, they were childhood friends, and she wanted to try and rekindle that side of their relationship. Morgan was a good man, a decent man, a man she would have loved to have ended up with. But she’d royally stuffed that chance up. And she wasn’t about to try a second time. She didn’t deserve him. And he most certainly didn’t deserve her shortcomings. She couldn’t let herself fall for him. She knew it would spell disaster, and heartbreak, for both of them. She didn’t want that for herself, and she most certainly didn’t want to put him through any more than she already had. And without him knowing the truth, well, that would just be plain selfish of her.
‘Jess, are you okay?’ The brush of his hand sent a tingle up her arm and zapped towards her heart, but then the rush sidetracked and made a beeline for her brain.
‘Yes, all good.’ She forced a wide smile.
‘You sure?’
‘Uh-huh.’ She wasn’t sure if it was the two large glasses of wine that she’d drunk, or the fact that Morgan was kickstarting her heart, but either way, she felt dizzy and breathless.
He offered her a gentle smile. ‘Maybe we should both think about hitting the sack?’
No! I want to stay here, with you, like this, forever!
‘Yeah, I reckon you’re right,’ she said softly.
He stood and so did she, on very shaky legs. ‘Thanks for a lovely evening, and a yummy dinner, Morgan.’
‘You’re welcome, Jess.’ He walked her past where Teeny had crashed hours earlier on his rug, and over to the steps. ‘If I don’t see you in the morning, I’ll catch you at the pre-wedding barbecue here tomorrow night, yeah?’
In the heat of everything, she’d almost forgotten all about it. ‘Yes, of course, I’ll be here with bells on.’
‘Good, great.’ He leant in and pecked her cheek. ‘Night.’
The heat that rushed through her from the brush of his lips was close to engulfing. ‘Night,’ she squeaked, before hurrying down the steps and into the embracing darkness. ‘Catch you tomorrow,’ she hollered.
‘With bells on,’ he hollered back.
His husky chuckle followed her to the cottage, accompanied her inside, and he effortlessly slipped deeper into her heart as she slipped into bed.
