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"I know I hurt you," Genevieve continued, her determination steadily winning its battle against the abject terror that seized her lungs. "And I know that simply saying 'I'm sorry' isn't enough to make up for that. But I need you to understand why Ireacted the way I did. I need you to know that it wasn't because I don't care for you. It's because I care too much."
Eden's brow furrowed slightly, a mix of confusion and cautious hope flickering across her features. She opened her mouth as if to speak, then closed it again, obviously waiting for Genevieve to explain herself.
Genevieve took a deep breath, steeling herself to lay all her cards on the table. She had never been good at vulnerability, nor at unmasking her emotions. But for Eden, she would try.
She inched closer on the couch, her hand moving of its own accord toward Eden's. She stopped short, suddenly unsure, her fingers hovering in the space between them. Eden's gaze flickered to Genevieve's outstretched hand, then back to her face.
In that miniscule gesture, Genevieve could see a yearning that rivalled her own. This bolstered her to continue, sure that she could salvage this thing, simply by being honest about her thoughts.
"A few years ago, I was married," she said, fiddling with the frayed edge of Eden’s blanket just for something to look at while she spoke. "I thought I had it all - a successful career, a beautiful home, and a loving wife. But it turns out that I didn't have as much as I thought."
Eden remained silent, but Genevieve could feel the weight of Eden’s attention. Could sense her leaning in ever so slightly.
"I found out she'd been cheating on me," Genevieve sighed, the truth still bitter on her tongue, even after all this time. "For months. With someone we both worked with. I felt like such a fool, so blindsided. I'd been focused on my work, on building my career, and I'd completely missed what was happening right under my nose."
Genevieve was suddenly battling with loose blanket threads she’d absentmindedly furled around her trembling fingers.Without a word, Eden reached out, intertwined their hands, and squeezed encouragingly. The simple gesture nearly undid Genevieve, and she had to take a moment to compose herself before continuing.
"My ex blamed me for the affair . . . said I was always too busy to pay her any attention. I guess she had a point, because . . . after the split, all I could do was throw myself into my work even more. I told myself that I didn't need love, and that my career was enough. I thought I'd never open my heart again." Genevieve stroked her thumb over the back of Eden’s hand a few times before daring to look up at her. "And then I met you."
Eden chewed on her bottom lip, hesitation written all over her soft features as if she were too nervous to speak. Too scared to blurt out anything that might earn a reaction similar to the one she received the last time she revealed her heart. The naked apprehension sent a fresh wave of regret crashing into Genevieve. Somehow, she knew she had to try to articulate just what this captivating woman had done to her.
"From the moment you walked into that audition room, you snared me. Not just with your talent, though God knows you have that in spades. It was your passion, your dedication, and your willingness to be vulnerable both on stage and off. You're the best actress I've ever worked with, Eden. Bar none. But you’re also perhaps the most mesmerising woman I’ve ever met. I was immediately intoxicated."
A faint blush coloured Eden's cheeks at the praise and Genevieve was suddenly overwhelmed by the desire to brush her fingers over that warmth, to feel it against her lips.
"From that first day, what I felt for you terrified me," Genevieve admitted. "I've built my entire career on being in control, on never letting my emotions cloud my judgment. But with you, I felt like I was losing that control. Every time we were together, whether in rehearsal or . . . in private, I found myselfwanting more. Wanting things I'd convinced myself I could live without."
Genevieve's free hand clenched in her lap, her nails digging into her palm as she forced herself to continue. "I told myself that it was just physical attraction and that I could keep it separate from our work. But deep down, I knew that wasn't true. I was falling for you, Eden, and it scared me to death."
Eden's eyes were glistening now, and her poor, abused lip had become swollen from her anxious nibbling.
"When you told me you loved me last night, it was everything I'd been longing to hear and everything I'd been dreading. I panicked. I convinced myself that if I acknowledged my feelings for you, everything would fall apart. That letting myself fall for you so desperately would compromise my work, plus the integrity of this production and any future ones. I couldn’t allow myself to be tempted to put my personal desires above my professional responsibilities."
Genevieve let out a bitter laugh. "As if I hadn't already crossed that line a hundred times over. But I was so caught up in my own fear and my own insecurities that I couldn't see what was right in front of me."
She paused, taking in Eden's expression. Eden’s angelic face was a shining canvas of emotions - hope, hurt, understanding, and something else. Something that made Genevieve's heart race.
"I've spent my entire career telling actors to take risks, to be bold and vulnerable on stage. And here I was, too cowardly to do the same in my own life." Genevieve shook her head, a rueful smile tugging at her lips. "Some director I am, huh?"
Eden opened her mouth as if to speak at last, but Genevieve gently pressed a finger to her lips. "Please," she murmured. "I’m almost finished. I need to say this."
Eden nodded, her eyes never leaving Genevieve's face.
"Even with all attempts to keep my heart safe, when you didn't show up today, I felt like my world was falling apart. Not because of the play, though that was a bloody nightmare. But because I couldn't bear the thought that I'd driven you away.”
Taking a breath, Genevieve continued. “I've always prided myself on my ability to separate my personal life from my work. To put the production above everything else. But today, I was watching Mara stumble through your lines. Seeing the disappointment on everyone's faces while I frantically tried to reach you. And I realized something."
Genevieve's voice grew stronger, more certain with each word. "I realized that I care more about being with you than I do about the show's success. And that’s totally alien to me, Eden. It goes against everything I've built my career on. But it's the truth.”
She looked into Eden's eyes. “For so long, I've been living in the worlds I create on stage. Fictional realities where I have complete control and where emotions can be scripted and contained. But you . . ." Genevieve had to swallow around the solid lump in her throat. "You've made me feel more alive than I have in years. You've reminded me what it's like to live in the real world, with all its messy, unpredictable beauty."
Without thinking, Genevieve reached out, gently wiping away a tear that had escaped down Eden's cheek.
The simple gesture seemed to break something open between them. Eden leaned into Genevieve's touch, her eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment. When she opened them again, they were filled with a warmth that made Genevieve's heart soar.
"I've been so caught up in my own fear," Genevieve went on, her hand still cupping Eden's cheek. "Fear of getting hurt again, fear of losing control, fear of jeopardizing the show. But the truth is, none of that matters if I don't have you in my life.
You are extraordinary, Eden. Not just as an actress, but as a person. Your talent, your kindness, your passion . . . they light up every room you're in. And I've been a fool for trying to deny how I feel about you."
