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Not being able to quite make out what she was saying I swung my feet until they met the floor. I hopped up following her voice. Then she stopped talking.
“Ugh!” She burst through the door from the other room so fast I had to jump back. She had one of the hotel robes wrapped around her beautiful body. Her twisted expression let me know she was pissed even though I could hear it in the inflections in her voice. If I had any doubt it was all removed now.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing! I’m sorry I woke you up. What time are we leaving again?” She blew by me, and each word came out softer as she attempted to self-regulate. I already peeped that her go-to was acting like everything was fine even when it wasn’t.
“Something,” I said easily and pulled her back until she stood before me. She folded her arms across her chest as the tension riddled her body.
“I said I’m fine.”
“Then why are you trying to leave and we landed less than twelve hours ago?”
“It was just sister stuff.”
“You are saying so much, but you are only talking in circles. If it’s private, I get that, but you can tell me why you are waking me up because you are in some type of shouting match with your blood,” I pushed.
“Damn, Prince, can you just leave me alone for a second? Give me a second to breathe!”
“You look like you're breathing just fine to me,” I said flatly and didn’t move an inch, nor did I let her go. “Nothing I just said made you that mad, and you haven’t even seen your sister today, so what got you tight?”
She sucked her teeth and turned it into a full-blown pout. “Why can’t you just argue back, Prince? Why do you have to be so damn…sensible.”
“I’m always going to give you space to feel how you feel but I knew since yesterday something wasn’t right. Now you up going back and forth with your sister.”
“She just doesn’t get it,” she said, defeated, and I finally let go now that I had the traction on the conversation I wanted.
“What?”
“I mean, we flew across the country to see this girl, and she is mad that I won’t go out with her tonight. She doesn’t understand that we have been busting our ass and we wereplanning to spend time together tonight. Just because we live together doesn’t mean we have had free moments for each other with the way we both been working. I love my sister, and I am happy to spend the day with her, but she is acting crazy over nothing.” She walked into the main living space. I sat on the plush couch while she chose to stand.
“What she talking about?”
“She wasn’t really saying it outright, but she was pissed that I told her I had plans with you tonight. I know she's mad at Chaz right now, but it’s like if she isn’t happy, she doesn’t want me to be. I know my sister loves me, and I love her, but we have been stuck together for so long and been through so much bullshit. Sometimes I feel like the thing that keeps us connected is our misery.”
When she finished talking, she plopped on the couch next to me, and the sirens blared in my head. Right now, more than any other time, I wish I had a blunt to smoke. Swearing off everything wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I would never in my life touch cocaine again, knowing the detriment it caused. Weed never did me wrong, and I needed to settle my thoughts. Self-regulation came easy with a blunt in hand, but I didn’t have that luxury. What she was saying reminded me of all the underlying things swirling around us. There were things she wasn’t telling me, and the misery she suggested she and her sister shared seemed to stem from that genesis. I thought enough to bring the air tag with me so I knew her protection was on my mind but it was buried behind the bliss of being lost in her these last few weeks. Then she mentioned Chaz, too, so I had to check out what the temp was there because, at least for now, he was supposed to be keeping shit together.
“It’s like if the energy is going to be off what is the point of even going?”
“The point is going to see your sister because that’s family. Sometimes shit just becomes off, but you get it back on track. Avoiding them can only make things worse. Trust me, I know what time and distance can do.” She popped her pretty eyes up to mine and gave me a nod. Her lips spoke to me, and I knew if I kissed them, she wouldn’t be leaving out of this door any time soon.
“I’m going to go. I hope she doesn’t do too much.”
“You told her about me? About us?” I felt her stiffen at my question.
“I mean I have. She knows I’m here with you and that I was with you while you were doing this project, but we haven’t really talked much.”
“What will you tell her?” I pushed, trying to make it sound casual, but I’m sure it didn’t. I needed to know where her head was.
“I don’t know. I like what we are doing. I like how I feel when I’m with you, and until everything is official, I don’t want to jinx it. We are moving slowly. Even though at the beginning, I didn’t understand why you wanted to move that way, I get it now. We have to get to know a lot more about each other, but I can say that I am invested in doing that now.”
“Yeah, yo ass feeling me huh?”
She punched me in the arm and laughed. All her stress melted away, and her brightness made me feel like the mission had been accomplished.
“I’m not worried about what you say to her I just wanted to see how you were thinking about things. You take it as slow as you need but one thing I’m not is uncertain. I want you, Le Monroe, and I will do what it takes to be here for you and treatyou the way you deserve to be treated. You may not be ready to tell your sister what you are feeling and that’s okay. All that hesitation, everything you are afraid of, is in the past. I’m here now, Le. If you are looking for a day to mark on that pretty calendar that you keep hanging in our kitchen, you can put this day down. It’s official.”
She blushed and looked at her hands. I didn’t need her to respond as long as she heard me and knew I was serious. I got up, went to the duffel bag I brought with us, pulled out a few stacks of money, and handed it to her.
