AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“My plan failed.” She waves her hands through the air. “Not only is my marriage over, but Mom wants me back at the firm. I’ve put her off, but once Sadie starts kindergarten, I won’t have any excuse not to.”
Tori lifts my hand from the couch and studies my engagement ring, unaware that I’m close to passing out.
“I wish the best for you and Spencer. He’s a wonderful guy. When my ex told me he wanted a divorce, Spencer was one of the first people I told. He dropped everything to come to New York for the weekend to help me. Surprising, since he reminds me of my parents.” She drops my hand and blows out a breath. “Everything is less important than the people paying for their time.”
More truth hammers into my heart. How sad that Tori feels her parents care more for their clients than for her. Will my children grow up feeling like their dad cares more about his clients than he does about them? Of course they will, because I feel that way now. Tori didn’t mention how much work Spencer did in New York while he stayed with her, but she doesn’t have to. His clients are never out of reach, no matter where he travels.
My tongue is stuck to the top of my dry mouth, and it’san effort to push words past my numb lips. “How did you cope with your parents being gone so much?”
“I filled my time with hobbies and school. It helped as long as I didn’t put too much energy into hoping they would show up to my golf tournaments or praise me for my perfect grades. What’s funny is I married a man who treated me the same way they did: as an afterthought.” She tilts her head back against the couch and closes her eyes. “More horrifying than funny when I think about it.”
Every word Tori speaks brings my future into frightening clarity. Theoretically, I know exactly what my marriage to Spencer will look like, but listening to Tori and seeing her heartbreak is real. It makes my future feel tangible in a way it hasn’t before.
This week, Spencer has made time for me. He sacrificed what he could, as long as it didn’t compromise his case. What about next year? Or in five years? Will he still be making these little sacrifices? Or will I become indistinguishable from the furniture?
“I’m an afterthought to Spencer,” I whisper.
Tori sits up, her eyes wide, and says with false cheer, “Of course not. Spencer isn’t like my ex. He loves you. I’m not sure my ex ever loved me. I was more of a trophy wife.” She gags. “He works for the family firm; did you know that? He won the prize of marrying the granddaughter of the owner. I stopped caring how much jewelry he bought me once I realized all I wanted was to be seen for who I am and not who my family is. You don’t have to worry about that. Spencer sees you. He adores you. He will never take you for granted.”
I’m not so sure about that last part because Spencerdoesn’tadore me. He may not want to marry me for my family connections, but he does want to show me off to his clients and increase his inheritance.
Tori’s past is my present. Her present is my probable future. And right now, she is hurting and alone because of her ex-husband. I might throw up.
She continues her pep-talk. “You and Spencer are a great couple. You’ll have the cutest little children.”
Of that I have no doubt, but the idea of having kids with him hits me differently after spending the week with Tori and Sadie. I don’t want to be a single mother, and even married, that is what I will be as Spencer’s wife.
When I say nothing in response to Tori, she hesitantly says, “Did I upset you?”
“No.” I can only hope my lie is convincing. I don’t want her to feel bad for confiding in me. “Not at all.” I swallow thickly. “Do you want to watch a movie?”
“Okay, but only if you’re sure I didn’t say something wrong. I can be thoughtless sometimes.”
“I’m okay. I promise.”
My smile must be persuasive, because after a few seconds of Tori studying me, she nods. I turn on the TV and start flipping through channels, paying little attention to what comes up on the screen until I land on Hallmark. When Tori’s breathing levels out, and she falls asleep, I mute the TV and grab a blanket from the end of the bed and place it over her.
I want to talk to Meg and Livy, and even grab my phone to call, but I can’t. Especially not now when I’ve seen a glimpse into my future. It will take very little to convince me I’m making a mistake, yet what is my other option besidesmarrying Spencer? I need the money he promised by Monday to pay the rest of January’s Brock Pine Home bill. I need it to pay my rent. It would be nice to have food this month besides ramen and rice. There is nothing left in any account. It’s gone. Nana supported me, and it’s my turn to support her. I can’t do it without Spencer. Alone, I fail.
A text comes through from Owen. He wants to talk, but we’ve said everything there is to say to each other. He thinks he can help, but I haven’t told him how much debt I have or how much more I’ll accrue. I’m too ashamed to give him the complete picture of what a mess I’m in, and it’ll humiliate both of us when he admits he’s not in a financial position to help me.
A knock comes at the door. My heart stutters. It’s probably Owen, so I stay where I am and hope he doesn’t peek inside. Another knock, but then all is silent.
My phone buzzes again and I expect a text from Owen, but it’s a Facebook memory notification. I open it to find the video I made in honor of Opa after he passed. I press play.
It begins with pictures of when Opa was a little boy in Germany and through his teenage years until he moved to the United States and met Nana. The rest of the pictures are of them together, their lives entwined completely. My vision blurs as mom grows up, and then I’m on the scene. Mom becomes frailer in each photo until she’s gone. Nana and Opa persevere, raising their granddaughter in a house they fill with love. I never doubted their complete devotion to each other or to me.
Nana always wanted the best for her family. She would be devastated to know what I’m sacrificing for her. If she were aware of my situation, she would understand that I’mdestitute and be okay if she became a ward of the state. She wouldn’t want me to marry a man I don’t love to help her. It’s a hard truth to accept because I want to give her everything she gave me. Maybe that desire has weighed me down more than the financial burden.
For the first time in a week, I allow myself to think through my situation in a way that doesn’t include Spencer. What options haven’t I considered?
Busking. A weak smile plays on my lips as I wipe tears from my cheeks. I don’t discount the idea completely, but it’s not a solid plan.
My roommates. I’ve never talked to them about my need for money because I don’t want them to worry, and Nana is my responsibility. But, if I explained, at the very least they would help me cover my rent.
Spencer. When I originally met with him atL’oie BleueI asked for a loan. If I broke off our engagement, he would still give it to me. Maybe. It will take my whole life to pay it back on a teacher’s salary, but I will try.
If he refuses to give me the loan, then I’d have to let the state step in. It’s an option that physically hurts, but Nana will still be cared for, and that’s what matters.
