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“Well, my clit won’t stop throbbing and now we’re sharing a room together, so I think it’s going well.”
She laughs. “So… that’s an adventure. Are you going to make him the new baby daddy and call it a day?”
“I wish! Now tell me who this mystery guy is.”
She pauses as though she’s thinking over how to best describe what’s happening. “I met him while I was married, and I don’t know…we had a connection. Nothing happened, but I’ve thought about him over the years. That’s all.”
My jaw drops. “How long have we been friends?”
“I know. I know, but what is there to say? Nothing could come of it, anyway. He was off limits and so was I. The end.”
“You’re divorced now, though. You should look him up.”
“Yeah… and find out he’s happily married. No, thanks. I think I’ll keep the nice memory of him I have in my head. Everyone is happier this way.”
Given the fact that I’m currently in love with someone I can’t pursue, I don’t have a ton of good advice other than the opposite of everything I’m doing. Even then, I get why she wants to keep him in her head. In my head, the fantasy of what Carson and I could be far outweighs what would happen if I finally told him how I feel.
“Anyway,” she sighs, “I should get moving. I still have so much to do here. I just wanted to check on you. Text me tomorrow and let me know everything went okay.”
“Will do. Love you, girl. Talk soon!” The line disconnects and I lean back against the headboard, sucking in the fresh scent of lavender that wafts from the bathroom. The door is cracked, and though I wish it were an invitation, it’s not. Apparently, we’re just comfortable around each other. It makes sense. We’ve known each other forever. We should be comfortable.
Comfortable. Comfortable. Comfortable.
Yay…
I really should take a piece of my own advice and let whatever happens, happen.
The water shuts off and I stand quickly to rummage through my suitcase, feeling for the thin nightgown I brought with me. I could wear the robe all night, but the room is warm, and I like sleeping cold.
I make the exchange quickly, then pull the brush from the front pocket of my bag and comb through my hair before peeling back the heavy comforter to slide between the crisp sheets. I don’t snuggle down. I stay sat up and pretend to look interested in the baking competition that’s flashing on the television. They’re making Halloween desserts. I gather that the point is to make a monster out of cupcakes. Some of these designs are far superior to others. Sometimes I wonder how people even get on these shows.
The bathroom door slides open and Carson walks out.
My heart stops, but I keep my focus on the TV. Most of my mind does what I’ve asked, but a little of my attention is on him, though my head is still straight forward.
He has a towel tied around his waist, his chest glistens with water, and his arms flex as he moves.He’s so hot. So… so… hot.
“You alright over there?”
Oh God, he’s seen me staring. Was I staring?
“Yeah.” I snap my gaze away. “Sorry, I’m exhausted.”
“It’s okay. I’m worried about you. Today was a lot of travel. Let me see your feet.” He doesn’t bother putting on a t-shirt or pants. He walks toward me, sits on the edge of the bed, and pulls my feet from beneath the comforter like they’re his to care for. “You need to raise these up to get the swelling down.” He grabs pillows from the head of the bed and tucks two of them beneath my swollen ankles. “Tomorrow we’ll need to prop these up while we drive. You might want to ride in the back and keep them elevated.”
I hate that he’s seeing me like this. My ankles look like packages of bread, my toes like little sausages. He looks like a fucking god, and I look like a Rollie Pollie. Literally, I don’t think there’s an ounce of me that’snotswollen.
A wash of heat rolls over me. I’m so embarrassed, but I don’t want to tell him I’m embarrassed. I want to play it cool. I want to be the girl who just accepts who she is and owns it. Everyone likes that girl, even if that girl isn’t perfect. People are attracted to her because she believes she is. I swear that’s a thing. The more you believe you’re great, the more other people think you’re great.
I lift my head up, all intention of holding it together, but my hormones don’t let me. Instead, they create tears and push them out of my eyes at hyper speed until I’m belly ache crying like a damn fool.
Awesome.
Carson looks up at me. “Honey, what’s wrong?”
My pussy throbs. How can my pussy be throbbing at the same time tears are falling? It doesn’t make sense.
“I’m disgusting.” Okay, I’m doing it. I’m saying the things. “Look at me. I’m… my whole body is like a balloon. I hurt, too. My back. My neck. These stupid feet.”
