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“What did he do?”
“He thanked me for my company just like that.” I snap my fingers. It was a trick on his part. Jake Knowles is not the first NASCAR driver I’ve dated; he will be the last.
Maddie leans back in her chair. “That’s awful. He sounds horrible. Absolutely horrible.” She frowns with disgust.
I feel relieved because my reaction would seem ridiculous to most people. If I want a serious relationship, it will be far away from motorsports.
“He thinks it’s funny, Maddie. He really does. I’m a little toy he can use to poke at Boone. He even admitted it. I lied to myself the entire time, thinking it couldn’t be true. I wouldn’t do that to Boone. You get that, right?” She nods. “I fell for it.”
Jake confirmed it the night we broke up, too. He called me a ‘bit of fun’, deeming it less cruel than a ‘toy.’
She squeezes my hand and doesn’t let go. “Well then, let’s talk about what’s next. If Drake isn’t the one, who is?”
That’s the problem. “I don’t know.”
“Close your eyes.”
I do. “It’s dark. There are little red spots. This is a waste of time.”
“Give it a chance. Picture your future.”
“It’s blank,” I protest.
“No, it isn’t. You’re refusing to see it.” Maddie is using what Boone calls her schoolmarm voice. It’s that tone kindergarten teachers use: assertive and kind at the same time.
I’m supposed to always be correct, and that’s true. Boone and Maddie are together because of me. My father, Tom Rivers, signed a contract with Julian to drive forRivers Motorsportsbecause of me.
That’s only true when it doesn’t involve my personal life. Then, I’m a complete disaster.
“He lives here. He takes care of himself but has never taken part in professional sports. He enjoys reading and loves his family. He has a goal and is working towards it, something big.” It all comes out in a rush. Everything I said isn’t that unusual; variations of it have been uttered many times before.
“Keep going.”
“He’ll push me to pursue my own dreams. We’ll buy a house with a picket fence.”
“What are your dreams?”
“Quit my job. Start something new.”
“Well, there you go.” Maddie leans forward and lets a finger trace the edge of her coffee mug. “Maybe the cabin vacation is what you needed. Now, it’s only a matter of figuring out how to make it happen.”
I snort because she makes it seem so easy. “Like a magic spell? Those only exist in the movies.”
“You’re the company fixer, right? Make a plan. Write it all out.”
“Write what all out?” My brother Boone comes into the kitchen and makes a beeline for a plate of cookies. “Perfect. I was starving.”
“Pig,” I say because it’s true. My brother is always eating. “Dinner wasn’t that long ago.”
“Hours, which is a lifetime in stomach years,” he says. “What are you two talking about?”
“None of your business.”
Maddie’s eyes widen. She’s learned to get between us before our spats turn into something bigger. Boone and I love to bicker; we’re constantly launching shots back and forth. Besides, he needs to be taken down a notch or ten. It’s for his own good.
“Not a problem,” he says. “I have cameras on this entire conversation.”
“No, you don’t,” I say back.
