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“No.” His voice is firm and commanding. “Tonight was not your fault. The plan was perfect. I was there. If it hadn’t been for Julien’s surprise, it would’ve gone down exactly like you said it would.”
I want to hold onto that. He’s probably right—I never could’ve foreseen Julien getting involved in this job—but it doesn’t matter, not really. He’s thinking about how to salvage this loss, and I’m thinking about the long-term cohesion of his entire family.
“I should still move out.” I stand up from the couch and move around it. “More people are going to find out that I’ve been staying with you eventually. You can’t hide it forever. When they realize, what do you think they’ll say? You’ve been lying to them, hiding your relationship with me. It’ll confirm all their worst suspicions.”
“Which are what?” he asks, tone carefully under control.
“That we’re sleeping together.”
“We are.” He steps forward. “And what’s wrong with that?”
“I’m Italian. I’m the daughter of a former crime boss. I’m a disgraced nobody. You should be with a nice Irish girl, someone that’ll help your family instead of dragging you down with a bunch of baggage.”
“I don’t want that.”
“You’re the boss. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what you want.”
He steps toward me again. I back away, heart racing, hands clammy. I hate this, hate it so much, but I’m doing the hard thing for him.
“I’ve given everything to the family,” he says, calm and measured. “I will keep giving everything until my dying breath. But I will not let stupid prejudices dictate who I sleep with.”
“Everything’s just too volatile. Maybe we can keep working together, but if I’m here?—”
“No, love. I’m not letting you go.”
“Ronan.” I move toward the door. “We don’t have to make this a big deal.”
“You blame yourself for what happened.” He follows after me, but at a distance. “You blame yourself for the faults in my family. Maybe you’ve been blaming yourself ever since your father died, but I’m not going to feed into that delusion. It isn’t your fault, Valentina. None of it is your fault. None of it ever was.”
I stare at him. My pulse hammers in my chest. Tears lodge in my throat. I hate him for saying that, and I hate that he’s right. I’ve been mourning my father’s loss, and a part of me always thought it should’ve been me killed instead of him, but that makes no sense. I was always just his daughter, just a girl on the periphery—he was the Don, the powerful Santoro Don, and he understood the risks he was taking.
I still hate that I’m here while everything I ever loved has fallen to pieces.
“I can’t let it happen to you. I lost my family, but I refuse to be the reason this one falls apart too.”
He stares at me, and all at once, he seems to calm down. His shoulders relax and his jaw softens, and his eyes take on that amused sparkle they normally have. It breaks my stinking heart to see his smirk return.
“All right, love, you do what you have to do.”
My mouth opens to argue—but I stop myself. “Really?”
“Sure, love, if that’s what you want, but I’m still not going to let you go.”
“Ronan—”
“Julien’s still out there. He obviously hasn’t let it go yet, and your apartment’s more dangerous than ever. You’re stuck with me.”
“I’ll go sleep on Rocco’s couch.”
He laughs. I can’t help but smile back. It kills me, hearing him laugh.
“Don’t make me have to kill that poor bastard.” He runs a hand through his hair and stretches his neck. “No, you’re not going anywhere. There’s still another Capo we have to deal with, remember?”
“I think we’re past that.”
“No, love, the deal still stands. We need a big win to make my boys happy. You don’t want my family to fall apart? Then uphold your end of the bargain. Don’t break your word.”
I stare at him. A spark of anger breaks through my stomach. I know what he’s doing, and it still pisses me off. “I’m trying to help.”
