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“I know that saying the words aren’t important to you. I get that, but…”
It was her turn to cock her head at him. “What words?”
Another sigh. “You don’t express your feelings for me at all.”
“I think I did that twice last night.”
He studied her for a long moment. “Sex doesn’t mean love.”
She blinked, working through his comments. Seth was usually all upfront with what he was talking about. Autumn knew he understood she had issues picking up on the normal cues most people would have no problem deciphering.
“Are you questioning my feelings for you?”
He looked uncomfortable. Like he wanted to be anywhere but there.
“Listen, I just don’t want to be pushy.”
“We’re moving in together. I think you have a right to be pushy.”
Seth sighed. “You don’t say ‘I love you.’”
She frowned. “I don’t?”
“No. And this is why I didn’t want to talk about it. You don’t need to say the words.” He sighed. “Now it feels like I’m pressuring you.”
She sighed and stepped forward. Cupping Seth’s jaw with one hand, she looked into his eyes.
“Seth Harrington.” She smiled. “For a man who claims to know me so well, you miss all the times I’ve told you I love you.”
“You have never said the words.”
“And you’re trying so hard not to pressure me.” The backs of her eyes burned. This man was definitely too good for her, but he was stuck with her. “The words mean little to me.” He opened his mouth, probably to argue that he loved her. “They do when you say them, I believe you.”
“Then…why is it hard for you?”
Always so patient. “We were forced to tell Joseph we loved him. It came to mean little to me because people said it so they wouldn’t be abused.”
“That’s fucked up.”
“Yep. But I have told you without words. I told you things I have ever only told three people in my life before you. Mybrother, father, and therapist have been privy to my private moments with my mother. The guilt I still feel for escaping without her. The anger for keeping me away from Sam for so long.”
“You really don’t tell other people that?”
“They judge. It’s been over fifteen years, so I should be over it, right? Or that’s what I’m afraid they’ll say. Then, there is the cooking.”
He smiled, and she knew he was having the same memories as she had. The truth was, she loved cooking with Seth. They often prepared meals together at night. It was their routine when they were done for the day, whether it was six in the evening or one in the morning. They had odd hours, thanks to their jobs.
“And we’re moving in together.”
“We’ve been living together for three months.”
“True, but this is official. I don’t let people in my spaces, and I definitely don’t cry in front of people like I do with you. I feel safe with you.” Then, knowing he needed the words, she stopped being a coward. “I love you, Seth Harrington.”
His eyes darkened as he stared down at her. His love for her was easy to read. “I love you.”
“How could you not? I mean… I’m drama-free and have an easy backstory.”
His mouth twitched. “Yeah. I really hate that we’re meeting your dad for lunch.”
