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“I know I am! I’m painting the reality if we go through with that real kiss! I will not survive it! And if you have to fire me because of it then… fine.”
“Fire you?” He turned, getting an eyeful of her ass in those shorts. It wasnotperfect. Nothing was fucking perfect. “I’m not firing you if you refuse tokissme,” he said, trying to get back to the conversation that needed to happen. “Let’s consider other options, then. What else tells the world that you’re mine and I’m yours?”
She returned to the couch and sat. “Remind me again why you’re needing to do this?”
“Because I don’t want them thinking you’re available for that type of relationship.”
“And…you think one of them might want that with me?”
“Absolutely,” he was sure. “Even if not to spite me.”
“I have an idea. How about I just say no?” She stared at him, her face strained. “I mean…Idohave a say in the matter. Tell me you have more confidence in me than this.”
He struggled to think about her question while going over all what she’d justfakedalong with thatrealityshe’d painted.
“Hello?” she called, her tone annoying him.
“I’m sorry, I’m stuck here imagining all the things you drew out for me. Thanks for that.”
“Well, I’ll try not to be offended that you hadn’t already drawn those scenarios in your own mind, Mr.King.”
“Oh, I drew far more than that. I just didn’t tell you because I understand at least the power of what we’re dealing with.”
Her hazel eyes sparked with fight. “Yeah? Well, so did I. I’ve been laying in that bedburning upwith scenarios just tohelpwith this…causeof yours!”
He threw out both arms. “Well, I can’t forceyou, so I guess we’ll need to come up with another plan.”
“Youaremy boss, I guess you couldmakeme do anything you wanted. Kiss you, touch you, anything you imagine up. Oh God,” she moaned, collapsing onto the couch with her hands covering her face. “Now I’llneverget that out of my head.”
“Andneitherwill I,” he said, his pulse hammering ruthlessly in his cock at all she’d said.
“We arebothgoing to burn in this hell,” she realized, sounding doomed. “This wassucha bad idea.”
“So that’s it, we’re done, we’re done after a single kiss?”
“You want to prove to them that friends can make it happen and I agree, I think it can, but you can’t expect either of us to—”
“We both agreed it’s a choice. Are you changing your mind on that? I don’t care if you do, I just need to know. Are you saying you’vefallen?”
She gave little quick nods with wide eyes on him. “Yes, I am. I’vefallenin the flames. I tried. I failed. I suck. And now I don’t know if I can even work with you.”
The thought that she wouldn’t brought a new alarm. “What do you mean?”
“Rukem,” she said, aiming her tormented face at him. “All that…fake it till you make it? I’ve been doing that since I first laideyeson you. Pretending you’re not drop dead gorgeous. Pretending you’re easy to look at and not get lost in.Pretendingthat I can be near you and not have all my…female…things totallywreckedby you. Yes, I’ve tripped over all my fake lies because the truth is just too big for me. You’retoomuch…everything for me! And I’m sorry I can’t help you. And…I hope…I get to teach still.”
He stared at the floor between them. That took a much different turn than he’d ever expected.
“Say something,” she barely mumbled when he was on his third pass of everything she’d said. “Look…I know you don’t want romance, you made that very clear to me. And it surely has no place in my life or my dreams to be a fulltime teacher. Andyourjob also requires an excellence that romantic relationships areknownto wreck. We both believe that romance is for having families. You’re not ready, I’m not ready. Maybe we’ll never be ready.”
“And…there’s no such thing as…romantic friends,” he wondered, glancing at her. “I’m genuinely asking.”
“Romantic friends?”
“Friends that…indulge one another in…”
She gasped. “You meanfuckingfriends?”
Fucking. He wanted to correct the term but he couldn’t bring himself to. Fucking her. Why did that sound like the exact and perfect expression? “I mean friends who…”
