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“How do you just...throw something like that away?”
“By making choices that don't feed into things I can't have without risking more than I'm willing to.”
“I feel like I need to tell you that...I think you're one of the most remarkable people I have ever met.”
“Wow. Spanning all genders. Go me.”
“This is not flattery or a joke and I realize my opinion doesn't matter but I want you to know it anyway.”
“Well, you're wrong, your opinion does in fact matter to me. Why else do you think I get so pissy with you?”
He sat quietly for a moment. “Because I'm a royal detached ignorant asshole, comes to mind.”
She had to laugh. “Well, oddly enough, none of that bothers me about you. It's part of your appeal, at least to me. You're different and ridiculously charming and kind and...way too good looking which makes it difficult to remember I'm supposed to be distrustful of all men.”
“Does this mean you can trust me?”
The hope in his voice tugged at the deeply buried things. She took a big breath, looking out the window. “You have made me wish I could trust men.”
“So you'll give me a chance?” he asked, more hopeful.
She looked between them, not sure what he was saying while her heart bled for things too long dead. “I really do like you as a person, Rukem,” she confessed. “You have this...power about you and strength that calls to me and that's scary.”
“Oh. I’m spanning all species,” he teased before going serious. “So, why is it scary?”
More irresistible sincerity. “Because it makes me want those things that come with the risks I'm not willing to take.”
“What can I say or do to make you feel safe enough to take this risk?”
Dear God, what was he offering, exactly. Being who he was, it wasn't just plain to see or know. “What are you wanting to give me that I should risk things I'm not willing?”
“What we discussed,” he said plainly, in her very favorite cryptic Rukem style.
“The friendship pleasure stuff?”
“Yes,” he said.
She suddenly realized why she felt safe with him. He was the romantically and sexually naive one, not her. She also realized why she had this weird, almost gravitational pull to him. He needed her. She'd never experienced that with a man of his caliber. She also had this strange urge to protect him.
“I've said the wrong thing again,” he muttered, sounding eternally frustrated, muttering something in another language.
“No, you didn't, I was just thinking about how different you are. It's the entire reason I even agreed to the...friendship pleasure thing you suggested. Because I decided to trust you, that youcouldbe trusted.”
“I can,” he pounced with a near boy like enthusiasm. “I will sign any contract, make it as official as you need it to be in front of every Creole King.”
“Lord, no. If we do this, it has to be very private. Nobody should know.”
“Then not a soul will know,” he said happily.
“Wow, how did this conversation come to this?” she marveled, confused while flying high on excitement.
“I do not know but I'm very glad it did. I want to...share pleasure with you.”
There it was again. Saying things that should bother her, but it didn't because he was clueless about romantic connections still. What would happen if he formed those? God, she was ready to cross that bridge when she got to it. She just knew she wanted as much as she needed to share this pleasure with him. No, to be the first woman he shared anything with. Maybe that was selfish. “I want to share it too,” she forced out, her stomach suddenly in knots at the crossroad approaching.
“Then you will tell me exactly what to do in pleasure and I will learn to do it perfectly for you,” he said, causing her pulse to scatter everywhere. Lord, her very own pleasure slave. “Everything but sex,” he remembered and assured.
Oh shit. Right. “Yes,” she whispered, feeling lightheaded. “And you tell me what you like and want and I'll give you the same.”
