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‘Carry on, Miranda,’ Liz said gently.
‘Okay, anyway, we’d then walk back up to the house hand-in-hand,unlock the door...’ she looked purposefully at Cara, ‘...andcheck on the kids...’ another look, ‘...before packing our bags for a week’s vacation in New York, and drifting off to sleep in each other’s arms.’ Miranda bowed after her performance and reclaimed her seat, the group clapping at her detailed recitation.
‘Sounds wonderful, Miranda.’ Liz clasped her hands together. ‘Now, does anyone have any issues or problems they want to discuss tonight?’ Liz’s eyes met Cara’s. ‘Cara? Anything you want to talk about?’
Her heart pounded and she was about to say ‘no’, when unexpectedly, tears welled in her eyes, her mouth quivering. Maybe it was just PMS.
‘Talk to us Cara, we’re here to help.’ Liz offered her a tissue, then placed the box on the table in front of her.
‘It’s just...’ Cara dabbed at the corners of her eyes. ‘Things are difficult between me and my husband at the moment,’sniff,‘we went away for a nice holiday,’sniff,‘and had an argument and disagreement on our anniversary, of all days!’ She let out a cry.
‘What was the argument about, Cara?’ Liz prompted.
She twisted the tissue in her hands. ‘He wants to have another baby.’Sniff.
‘I see ... and you don’t, is that right?’ asked Liz.
Cara nodded. And with a look of understanding on her face, Gina placed a comforting hand on Cara’s arm, then removed it a moment later and returned it to rest on her lap, as though she wasn’t sure she’d done the right thing.
‘I love my kids, but I feel like I’m done with the whole pregnancy and baby thing. I want to move forward and have a life of my own, as well as being a wife and mother.’ The first tissue soaked, she plucked another from the box and dabbed at her eyes again. ‘Pete and I have avoided talking further about it, mostly because I told him there wasn’t anythingtotalk about. I told him my decision was final.’
‘I understand,’ Liz said. ‘Do you think Pete might be feeling a sense of loss at your decision?’
Cara looked up at Liz, tears blurring her vision and the room seeming darker than usual. ‘Loss?’
‘Knowing there won’t be more children in his future.’
‘Oh, maybe. I hadn’t thought of it like that.’ Cara took a deep breath, and brushed the last tear away from her cheek with the back of her hand. ‘I guess I need to talk this over properly with Pete, about how he’s feeling, I mean.’
‘Yes, that would be a good idea. You can’t go on avoiding each other and suppressing the issue. That’s how resentment builds in a marriage. Open communication, while it sometimes results in arguments, is the only way to work through things,’ Liz advised. ‘By working through these issues, you can come out the other side with a better understanding of each other, and in many cases, a marriage can be all the stronger for it.’
‘Not in my case,’ interrupted Cass. ‘The more my husband and I talked about our issues the more we argued, and consequently the marriage broke down.’
‘I’m really sorry about what happened, Cass,’ said Liz. ‘How long have you been separated?’
‘Since just before Christmas,’ she replied.
‘It’ll take some time to get through it, but you will. And you’ve made a good start by joining the club.’ Liz placed areassuring hand on her shoulder, and Cass turned her gaze towards Cara.
‘Sorry, Cara, I didn’t mean to interrupt.’
Cara dabbed a tissue at her remaining tears. ‘It’s okay, I didn’t mean to be a cry-baby. I just don’t want to feel like I’m letting Pete down, but I don’t want to give in just to make him happy either,’ she said.
‘Then you need to discuss this ambiguity with him. And there’s no need to give in. In fact, that would lead to greater resentment later on. You need to be true to yourself, but because you’re in a committed relationship, you also need to take into account your partner’s feelings. Discuss each other’s goals and desires.’
‘Thanks Liz, I’ll talk to him, and sorry for ruining this meeting with my emotional outburst!’ Cara managed a weak laugh.
‘Nonsense!’ Liz flicked her hand. ‘That’s what the club is all about, discussing your concerns and goals in a supportive environment, and achieving breakthroughs that lead to a better life.’
Liz offered Cara a hug which she welcomed with gratitude. Her vision sharpened and the room brightened. Although she knew there’d be some tense discussions coming up between her and Pete, the weight of the issue had been slightly lifted, and she felt more prepared to face her husband. They’d lasted seven years; she wasn’t going to let her marriage start disintegrating now. She refused to end up single and bitter like Cass.
THIRTEEN
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
~ Buddha
‘Internet dating? You’re brave!’ said Miranda’s colleague, Linda, as she held open the door to the staff bathroom.
