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Savannah didn’t know Fallon at all. That much had never been as clear as it was now. She didn’t understand or know the family dynamics. She hadn’t been invited into that space. And while she hadn’t expected it before, they had beenseeingeach other for months now and surely she should have picked up on some of this by now. Right?
“How long will the three of them stay in there?” Savannah finally asked, trying to judge whether or not she had time to absorb this new information.
“I don’t know. I don’t think the three of them have been in the same room together since I’ve been with Tia, at least not to my recollection.”
“When’s the last time…” Savannah trailed off, not sure if she could finish that question. She couldn’t imagine not talking to Conrad every day. The only reason they weren’t doing that now was because he was dead, and she still had daily texts with Kyla and her parents. They were a close-knit family, and she couldn’t imagine walking through life without them.
“I think Tia said it’s been at least seven years. It was for her birthday one year.” Saylor finished her drink and immediatelyturned to make another one. “They’re an odd family. I always just chalked it up to what happened.”
At least Savannah did know about that. Well, the basics of it, from her own research primarily but with a few hints of what Fallon had told her here and there. But what if it was more than that? What if Fallon wasn’t as interested in keeping those relationships and building them in the ways that Savannah valued? Maybe they weren’t as compatible as she’d thought. Maybe it really was just good sex and nothing else.
“Fallon’s always been the odd one out, if you ask me,” Saylor added. “She’s really hard to get to know, but I think she saw the worst of what happened compared to Tia or even Monti.”
“I’d agree with that.” Savannah stared into her cup and then set it on the counter. “You wouldn’t be offended if I left early, would you?”
“What?” Saylor’s face fell, the happiness that had been there disappeared in almost an instant. “Most of the people here are Tia’s friends, and my friends by proxy. You and Jericho are really the only ones here for me.”
Savannah looked around the room again, realizing for the first time that she was the only one there from the rink. True, Saylor hadn’t worked there for long, but surely she’d made some connections and friends with the other coaches, hadn’t she? If not, then Savannah was falling down on her job. They needed to become like a family in order for the coaches to trust each other.
She’d add that to her list of things to look out for and work on. Saylor needed to feel like she was part of the family—she deserved it. Savannah rolled her shoulders and glanced around the small apartment and the people milling throughout it.
“I don’t want to dampen the mood with my drama,” Savannah stated quietly, hoping it would be enough of an explanation for Saylor to understand.
“This isn’t drama.”
“It will be,” Savannah countered. “I know Fallon fairly well at this point, and she’s upset that I’m here, mostly because she didn’t know it was coming. Like you said, she doesn’t like surprises.”
Saylor shrugged her shoulders. “Are you here for you or for her?”
“I’m here foryou,” Savannah countered with a quirk to her lips. “Not everyone invites me to their birthday parties, you know.” That wasn’t quite true. She was invited to most of the parties that were associated with people at the rink, but that didn’t mean she went to everything. She always tried to put in an appearance though, make a good impression when she showed up. Who it was and what it was for would determine how long she stayed. She’d planned on staying most of the night for Saylor. But that was before seeing Fallon and watching her race off with no explanation.
“I’m not sure I can be with someone who isn’t going to tell me what’s going on,” Savannah said, following her own train of thought rather than the conversation she and Saylor had started.
“You know, change is hard. It really is, and I think the more ingrained we are in our habits and the more reason we have for keeping those protections in place, the harder change is to make. Don’t count her out yet.” Saylor locked her eyes on Savannah. “There’s always hope.”
Shaking her head, Savannah straightened her shoulders. “There might be hope, but I’m not sure I’m willing to be with someone whose immediate response is always going to be anger. I’ve…” Savannah paused briefly, unsure whether to share this or not. Saylor hadn’t been around during her divorce, so she wouldn’t know, and she’d kept as much of it hidden from her staff as she could throughout that time. But she also couldn’t complain about Fallon’s lack of vulnerability when she was struggling to do the same. “I’ve been with someone whose go-towas anger before, and I’m still untangling that web of abuse. I won’t subject myself or Brinley to a repeat of a relationship like that.”
“Oh.” Saylor pressed her lips together, thinning them out. “That makes perfect sense, honestly. I don’t think anyone would fault you for that.”
“That’s my hesitation with Fallon. I need someone who’s willing to be open with me, someone who’s willing to trust that I won’t stomp on their needs and emotions just to get my own met. I’m not sure Fallon is able to trust that.” Savannah stared at the door like she could see Fallon, Tia, and Monti.
“Don’t count her out yet,” Saylor said, glancing toward the door. “From what Tia tells me, something big is happening in the family. She’s just not sure which direction it’ll go yet.”
“I’m not sure I can risk waiting.”
“Then don’t. You and Brin come first.”
“Brin definitely does.” Savannah crossed her arms. “I’m going to head out.”
“See you on Monday,” Saylor chimed.
“See you.”
Savannah left immediately. She didn’t want to see Fallon when she came out of the bedroom, and she certainly didn’t want to make any more waves than she already had. As soon as she was in the car, she called Kyla to go pick up Brinley early. She’d vent as soon as she was there and then head home for a quiet night in.
She needed the time to think.
twenty-three
